EYE-BALL Guru on – Regulatory Ego’s are the problem …

Title: Regulatory Ego’s are the problem …

Today the ping-pong being played out before the world financial markets involving the ‘bail-out’ of Greece turns to more over-spin and under-slice. Greek President Papandreou has backflipped on his declaration to take the Euro Bailout package to a referendum – [See Papandreou Story here] This Atlantic ping-pong has seen the markets awash with emotion and responses that befit the over-spin and under-spin exchanges. How can the markets behold their integrity against such wilful misleading and bad reporting of facts nt in evidence. The game is being played out by ‘sell-sword’ journalist and their editors vying for political favour dependent on which sides wins. Whores like these that are peddling these stories are poxed and are vexing and sullying the whole media industry – when will a story stand the test of time? – And as the World was delivered this message – Global markets responded as expected – the rollercoaster ride continues – up down and nobody has a goddamn clue … Across the Atlantic – President Obama came out opposing the European ‘Financial Transactions Tax’ – saying it won’t work – preferring to promote his own plan to back a fee for financial-crisis responsibility.  [see story here] One side says ‘potato’ the other says ‘patata’ – is this really the best plan the smartest men in the World can come up with? A European dutch action on Greek debt writedowns all with the purpose to save the Banks – and a Regulatory measure that delivers no pain to those Bankers who walked us all to the edge of the abyss – only to hear them plead with their masters whilst holding a shotgun at them and saying – “if we go – then so do you – bail us out and you might have a chance that we can save you”. Let me tell it like it is … Speculation is the cause of all the evil contagion currently in the death throes of what was known as ‘Capitalism’ … Without volatility Bankers are without risk and therefore 50% of their income is stripped. You have a freakish giant feeding at your table and living in your mist – he takes all the prime cuts – devours all the protein – snacks on all the sweets – gorges on the entre’s – pigs out of the leftovers – and drinks from everyone’s glass leaving it half-full and ruined for anyone else – he is your Banker … Yet Politicians need the Bankers to fund election campaigns –  to lend to business that create employment – they are an evil that have always lurked among us – in better days we held them in high regard – but now all they do is leech  and entice you into debt that holds your future to account … There is not nice way to deal with evil – you just have to cut it to the bone and let it rot … Take, Opus Prime – Storm Financial – and the many other Financial Institutions around the World who have lost clients life savings over the last 3 odd years – they are all agents of Banks – set up to entice and charm those with wealth to risk and gamble their worth. These thrift merchants take their fat commissions and flee when the shit hits the fan. When you have a monster in your mist that has to be fed – and you want to be rid of it – poison the food – starve them of their need – rid the markets of the speculators for a period and I guarantee you some normality will return. The way to do that is to impose the dreaded ‘capital gain’ tax.  Tax all speculative profits 90% on assets not held longer than six months – 70% for a year – 60% for 18 months and 50% for 2 years.  I guarantee you that markets will survive and volatility will go – investments will be made based on what used to be rational long term forecast earnings – not by weight of money with false media leaks and inside knowledge – burn all those who dip their beak into the pigs swill to make a fast buck. You can’t burn the candle at both ends for too long – this bitch of a disaster has been man made – and on the cards since the gold standard was abolished – look at any equity chart and see the explosion in market caps around the globe since the 1970’s – shares represent debt – or liability owed – and in the last 20 odd years – every Banker around the globe has encouraged you all to borrow to buy shares … it is now time to make the Banks pay for their misguided advice … ____________________________________________ The EYE-BALL Guru …

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Religious Humour – V’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Religious Humour – V: Updated 5th Nov ’11

A Priest’s Choice: A bunch of preachers are having a meeting in the rectory of a Catholic priest. Just as they’re silently tuning up for some heavy orations, the priest offers all of them a whiskey to ease tensions and get the smell of religious napalm out of the air. “Don’t mind if I do, thanks,” says the Methodist vicar, who slugs down three fingers of Wild Turkey. “And you?” asks the priest of the born-again minister. “What?” the born-again shouts indignantly. “Drink alcohol? Why, I’d rather debauch in a whorehouse!” At this the Methodist spits his whisky back into the glass and hollers, “Whoa! You mean we get a choice?” _______________________________ No Title: A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancee to his study for schnapps. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the fiancee. “I am a Torah scholar,” he replies. “A Torah scholar.” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she’s accustomed to?” “I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.” “And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father. “I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “God will provide for us.” “And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?” “Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancee. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiancee insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks “So? How did it go?” The father answers, “He has no job and no plans. But the good news is, he thinks I’m God.” _______________________________ The Bus Driver – a retake of the Taxi Driver: A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can’t have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he’s not married. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus drive agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When the were done and he had resumed driving the busdriver said, “Sister, I have a confession to make, I’m married and have three kid’s.” The nun replied “That’s O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I’m on my way to a costume party.” _______________________________ Hell: Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!” She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on it. The next day the nun didn’t hear from Saint Peter and called him back. “Please set this error straight before tomorrow,” she begged. “There’s an orgy planned for tonight, and everyone must attend!” “Of course, Sister,” he said. “I’ll get you out of there right away.” Apparently, her plight slipped his mind, and the following morning he received another phone call from hell. He picked up the receiver and heard, “Hey, Pete, this is Maggie. Never mind!” _______________________________ A sex Life summed up: When the Lord was making the world he called man aside and bestowed upon him 20 years of normal sex life. Man was horrified, but the creator refused to budge. Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him 20 years. “But I don’t need 20 years,” said the monkey. “Ten years is plenty.” Man spoke up and said: “May I have the other 10 years?” The monkey agreed. The Lord called on the Lion and also gave him 20 years. The Lion too, wanted only 10 years. Again, man spoke up. “May I have the other 10 years?” “Of course,” said the Lion. Then came the Donkey, who was also given 20 years. Like the others, 10 years was enough for him. Man again asked for the spare 10 years, and he got them. This explains why man has 20 years of normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it and 10 years of making a jackass out of himself. _______________________________ Pearly Gates and the Cab Driver: While riding in a car in a big city, The Pope and The President of the United States of America, Bill Clinton, were both killed in a fatal car accident. Seconds later, the Pope ends up in hell with the huge fires and the Devil sitting at his desk checking people in. The Devil says, “Next!” and the Pope steps up. “I’m not supposed to be here, there must be a mistake, I’m the Pope, I’m totally sinless, I’m supposed to go to heaven!” The Devil looks down into his paperwork and replies, “Oh, geez, my mistake, I’m sorry, go on over there to that elevator, it’ll take you up to heaven. The Pope steps into the elevator and starts to ride it up to heaven. About halfway up, the Pope looks out the window of his elevator and sees Clinton going down the other Elevator. The Pope yells out and says, “Hey Bill, I’m going to Heaven, I’m going to finally meet the Virgin Mary!” To that, Clinton Replies, “To Late!” _______________________________ The 8th Day: One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news”, God said. Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.” Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.” Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?” God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.” _______________________________ Where to for a holiday: God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, “You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?” St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, “How about Jupiter? It’s nice and warm there this time of the year.” God shakes His head before saying, “No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back.” “Hmmm,” St. Peter reflects. “Well, how about Mercury?” “No way!” God about screams. “It’s way too hot for me there!” “I’ve got it,” St. Peter says, his face lighting up. “How about going down to Earth for your vacation?” Chuckling, God remarks, “Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went There, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they’re STILL talking about it!” _______________________________ Best/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog: A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending] YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets … Various – Little Johnny Jokes Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’ Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Desperate Times’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Desperate Times’: Posted 4th Nov ’11

Desperate Times: A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well sister, this looks pretty grim.” “I know, father.” the nun answered. “In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.” “I agree.” said the nun. “Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?” “Anything father.” “I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.” “Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.” The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. “Sister would you mind if I touched them?” She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. “Father, could I ask something of you?” “Yes sister?” “I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?” “I supposed that would be OK,” the priest replied lifting his robe. “Oh father, may I touch it?” This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. “Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.” “Is that true father?” “Yes it is, sister.” “Then why don’t you stick it up that camel’s ass and lets get the hell out of here.” _______________________________

Most Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011: A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending] YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets … Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1 Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’ If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please. Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index

The EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!!

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Noah’s Ark’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Noah’s Ark’: Posted 4th Nov ’11

Noah’s Ark: One day the Lord spoke to Noah and said “Noah I want you to build an ark in six months time, you must save all animals two of each kind, male and female,” thundered the Lord. “You’d better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.” And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. “Noah,” shouted the Lord, “where is my Ark?” A lighting bolt crashed to the ground next to Noah. “Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn’t meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbours objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I needed wood to save the owls. But they wouldn’t let me catch any owls. So no owls. Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labour Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat and still no owls. Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn’t complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now I’m still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I’m supposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I’m trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don’t think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years,” Noah wailed. The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you’re not going to destroy the earth?” Noah asked, hopefully. “No,” said the Lord sadly, “Government already has.” _______________________________

Most Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011: A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending] YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets … Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1 Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’ If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please. Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index

The EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!!

 

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘The False Nun’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘The False Nun’: Posted 4th Nov ’11

The False Nun: A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high, voice, “Could you please take me to Times Square?” In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, “Hey sista, that’s kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?” The nun says, “Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?” The cabbie, “About dis celibacy thing. Are you telling me you never think about doin’ it?” The nun, “Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand.” The cabbie, “Well, would ya ever consider, you know, doin’ it?” The nun, “Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstance, I might consider it”. The cabbie, “Well what would dose conditions happen to be?” The nun, “Well, he’d have to be Catholic, unmarried and well, certainly he could have no children.” The cabbie, “Well, sista, today is your lucky day. I am all three. Why do youse come on up here…I won’t even make you really break your vows. All you gotta do is go down on me.” The nun looks around….they are awfully far away from where anyone would recognize her. At the next light she gets into the front with the driver. By the next light, the nun is getting back into the rear of the cab, and the cabbie is smiling from ear to ear. As she settles in, the nun hears the cabbie begin to laugh. The nun inquires, “Why, my son, what is so humorous?” The cabbie sneers, “Sista, I got ya. I’m Protestant, I’m married, and I got four kids.” And from the back of the cab comes the nun’s low voiced response, “Yeah, well my name’s Dave and I’m on my way to a costume party.” _______________________________

Most Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011: A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending] YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets … Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1 Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’ If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please. Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index

The EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!!

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Married Couple in Heaven’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Married Couple in Heaven’: Posted 4th Nov ’11

Married Couple in Heaven: There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, “St. Peter, my fiance and I are very happy to be in heaven but we miss very much the opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?” St. Peter looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I’m afraid you’ll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment for two weeks from Wednesday.” Come the appointed day, the couple were escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeat the request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, “I tell you what, wait five years and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again.” Well five years went by, and the couple still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again the Lord God Almighty said, “Please you must wait another five years and then I will consider your request.” Finally, they come before the Lord God Almighty the third time, ten years after their first request, and asked the Lord again. This time the Lord answered, “Yes, you may marry. This Saturday at 2:00 p.m., we will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!” The wedding went beautifully, all the guests thought the bride was beautiful. Moses brought some flowers from the Nile River Delta and Gandhi came wearing his finest hand-woven sari. But, you guessed it, the couple was married but a few weeks when they realized they had made a horrible mistake, they just couldn’t stay married to one another. So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty, this time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When the Lord heard their request, he looked at them and said, “Look, it took us ten years to find a priest up here in heaven; do you have any idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?” _______________________________

Most Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011: A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending] YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets … Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1 Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’ If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please. Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index

The EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!!