Archive

Archive for November 1, 2011

EYE-BALL Guru on – RBA Decision to cut Interest Rates by 0.25% – Gutless …

November 1, 2011 2 comments
The-EYE-BALL-Opinion-Header-2
Title:
RBA Decision to cut Interest Rates by 0.25% – Gutless ..
The RBA decision to cut official interest rates by 0.25% today is the most gutless Central Bank decision in many a year.  The A$ had factored the cut and it was predictable – what was needed was un-predictability and something that would alarm current traders and get them out of and sellers of A$.

This decision has no positives – US, UK, Japan, and the Swiss,  have interest rates under 1% – Australia’s are now 4.5% …

Our housing market delinquencies are climbing – house affordability has never been worse – dropping interest rates with a cessation of the home buyers grant and the cancellation of the negative gearing tax relief on more than one investment property would allow the market to self correct.

Australia’s housing market is in the toilet and all based on artificially high interest rates – and investment negative gearing for housing.

Unwinding this nightmare to allow home affordability to return and prices fall – will be a vote losing exercise and nobody wants to go there.   Both sides of politics want to fu_k this and the next generation of home buyers by freezing them out of the market …

A 2-3% cut in interest rates brings us into line with the rest of the world – people will then have to look to invest in business to generate income as opposed to living off investment income – make the capital work that is what Governments should be about – create tax incentives in business incentives and not Housing ownership.

Our Business model is wrong and not working and it is up to the Government to create the small-business incentives to drive self-employment and opportunities.

The RBA decision could have been made by high school students with the depth and breath of numbers telling … no – screaming that interest rates had to be cut …

The 0.25% tells us all that the RBA Board are safe merchants – that as Bankers they want the ‘sure-thing’ and not be exposed to any negative media – I hope the main stream media serve it up to them and call them for what they are.

____________________________________________

The EYE-BALL Guru …

Advertisements

EYE-BALL Guru on – Treasurer SWAN – “A Craven” when it comes to dealing with the markets …

November 1, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-Opinion-Header-2
Title:
RBA Decision to cut Interest Rates by 0.25% – Gutless ..
The RBA decision to cut official interest rates by 0.25% today is the most gutless Central Bank decision in many a year.  The A$ had factored the cut and it was predictable – what was needed was un-predictability and something that would alarm current traders and get them out of and sellers of A$.

This decision has no positives – US, UK, Japan, and the Swiss,  have interest rates under 1% – Australia’s are now 4.5% …

Our housing market delinquencies are climbing – house affordability has never been worse – dropping interest rates with a cessation of the home buyers grant and the cancellation of the negative gearing tax relief on more than one investment property would allow the market to self correct.

Australia’s housing market is in the toilet and all based on artificially high interest rates – and investment negative gearing for housing.

Unwinding this nightmare to allow home affordability to return and prices fall – will be a vote losing exercise and nobody wants to go there.   Both sides of politics want to fu_k this and the next generation of home buyers by freezing them out of the market …

A 2-3% cut in interest rates brings us into line with the rest of the world – people will then have to look to invest in business to generate income as opposed to living off investment income – make the capital work that is what Governments should be about – create tax incentives in business incentives and not Housing ownership.

Our Business model is wrong and not working and it is up to the Government to create the small-business incentives to drive self-employment and opportunities.

The RBA decision could have been made by high school students with the depth and breath of numbers telling … no – screaming that interest rates had to be cut …

The 0.25% tells us all that the RBA Board are safe merchants – that as Bankers they want the ‘sure-thing’ and not be exposed to any negative media – I hope the main stream media serve it up to them and call them for what they are.

____________________________________________

The EYE-BALL Guru …

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Confectionary Sex’:

November 1, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Confectionary Sex’:
Last Updated Nov 1st ’11
Confectionary Sex:Smiling

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.

I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue, when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?”

Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy!

I couldn’t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots.  It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”

Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.

By the look on her face I could tell I was a Sweat Sensation.  She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said,  “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.”

I said “Look you little Reese’s Pieces, don’t be a Zero, be a Lifesaver.  Why don’t you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit ‘O’ Honey?”  (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)

She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup.

I proceeded to give her a Slow-poke, and she gave me some kisses.  Well, I started giving it to her Good ‘N’ Plenty, when all the sudden…my Starburst!  Y

Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.  Sure enough, nine months later, out popped………..Baby Ruth!

Oh well, I think I’ll go have a Ho-Ho.

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘One night stand court case’:

November 1, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘One night stand court case’:
Last Updated Nov 1st ’11
One night stand Court case:Smiling

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, “I’d give $50.00 to spend the night with that woman.”

Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, “I’ll take you up on that.”

She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment. The following morning, the man presented her with $25.00 as he prepared to leave.

She demanded the rest of the money, stating: “If you don’t give me the other $25.00, I’ll sue you for it.”

He laughed, saying: “I’d like to see you get it on these grounds.”

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case.

His lawyer said: “She can’t possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented.”

After the usual preliminaries, the lady’s lawyer addressed the court as follows: “Your honor, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $50.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $25.00, one-half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask judgement be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance.”

The defendant’s lawyer was impressed and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defense, therefore, was somewhat different from the way he originally planned to present it.

“Your honor,” he said, “My client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time, and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labor performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for rental of said property. We, therefore, ask that judgement not be granted.”

The young lady’s lawyer answered thusly: “Your honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not known that the well existed, he would never have rented the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property much less desirable to others. We, therefore, ask that judgement be granted.”

And it was. She won the case.

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – I:

November 1, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – I:
Posted 1st Nov ’11
Various Little Johnny Jokes:

SmilingLittle Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.One little girl raised her hand and said,  “I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God”.The teacher praises the little girl, as a little boy raised his hand.The little boy says, “I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love.”

“Very good,” said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny’s hand up.

“Oh no”, she thought, “I’m not gonna like this”.

“Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?”

Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, “Your feet.”

The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.

He replied, “Well, I was walking past my parents’ bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!'”

_______________________________

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.

“Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,

“Beautiful, fuckin’ beautiful!'”

_______________________________

This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is “contagious.” She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands.

“Carl,” she says.

Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”

“Very good,” says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says,

“The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says,

“Excellent, Suzie!” Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.

“Yes, Johnny?” she says.

Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence.”

_______________________________

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.

“Now class, I’m going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I’m talking about.”

“Okay, first: it’s round, plumb and red.”

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely, ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered, “An apple.”

“No Deborah, it’s a beet, but I like your thinking. Now, for the second. It’s soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish.”

Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.

“Is it a peach?”

“No, Billy, I’m afraid it’s a potato. But I like you’re thinking. Here’s another: it’s long, yellow, and fairly hard.”

By now, Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.

“A banana,” she says.

“No,” the teacher replies, “it’s a squash, but I like your thinking.”

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly.

“Hey, I’ve got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I’ve got it: it’s round, hard, and it’s got a head on it.”

“Johnny!” she cries. “That’s disgusting!”

“Nope,” answers Johnny, “it’s a quarter, but I like your thinking!”

_______________________________

“If there are 4 birds on a fence and you shoot one, how many birds are left on the fence?”

Johnny replies, “None, because after I shoot the first bird, the others will fly away.”

The teacher says, “Well, the correct answer is ‘three birds’, but I like your thinking.”

So Johnny says, “Well I have a question for you… There are three women in an ice cream shop eating ice cream cones. The first woman is licking the cone. The second woman is biting the cone. And the third woman is sucking the cone. Which one is married?”

The teacher replies, “I don’t know. I guess the one that is sucking the cone.”

To which Johnny says, “Well the correct answer is the one with the wedding ring’, but I like your thinking.”

_______________________________

Links to More Little Johnny Jokes:

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – Little Johnny and Sis’:

November 1, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Little Johnny and Sis’:
Last Updated 1st Nov ’11
Little Johnny and Sis’:

This joke is published as a stand alone.

SmilingLittle Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

This he did, and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother.

“Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. He started to kiss and hug her. I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he’s not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.

He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt.

About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick… a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST!

Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake! Anyway, sis got braved and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back.

Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissors lock on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. The eel wasn’t dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats… they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis’s boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet.”

Mother fainted.

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone
%d bloggers like this: