Archive

Archive for January 9, 2012

EYE-BALL’s Human Evil Exposed – John O’Neill (CEO-ARU) … Part 3

The-EYE-BALL-NovelZone Header
Title:
Human Evil Exposed –
John O’Neill (CEO-ARU) … Part 3


Link to all Posted Chapters for –

“Human Evil Exposed – John O’Neill (CEO-ARU)” – The SBS Story

The “Human Evil Exposed” – John O’Neill story link above takes you to a new page where all the chapters to this story are listed and linked.

All the documents that form a part of this story as evidence is linked here. These documents form the evidentiary trail collected as a part of the research undertaken during this project.

The “Human Evil Exposed” – John O’Neill story thus far covers events that took place between 1931 – 1995. The final ending is still to be played out. The motives for what took place in the late 70’s and early 80’s happened in 1931 when the then NSW Government owned – ‘Government Savings Bank of NSW’ was forced to close its doors. This set in motion a number of events that were not resolved until Dec 1987. The motives behind this story are steep in history and these grudges were held for a long time.

After they were finally settled – what then took place culminated in a $75 million FRAUD of public monies carried out by the NSW Government(NSWG) and its agent – The State Bank of NSW – (SBNSW) in 1988.

The players involved and connected with this FRAUD include:

  • Three consecutive NSW Premiers, Wran, Unsworth and Greiner,
  • Several Ministers serving in those Governments and their staffers – one of these Ministers is now a Justice with the NSW Land and Environment Court,
  • Regulatory Departments including the Department of Co-Operatives, Office of Business and Consumer Affairs, and the Australian Association of Permanent Building Societies, (AAPBS) and,
  • Employed State Bank of NSW Executives – the MD was John O’Neill – who all acted in proven ‘conflict of interest’ positions as Directors on the State Building Society Board, and whose intent was to facilitate a FRAUD against the 270,000 SBS members.

It’s a story that crushed the second largest NSW Building Society and at the time it had $1.6 billion in assets, some 270,000 Society members, and 650 SBS staff.

This is a story told by someone who lived through the 87-88 period and is told from his perspective and the evidentiary proof collected from research undertaken to prove the allegations. This story comes from a corrupted base of Corporate greed, corrupt and immoral Director’s, complicit Government representative’s, ego’s driven by historical flawed motive’s, financial market operative’s, drugs, sex, and the brazen Corporate RAPE and THEFT of the $75 million value attached to the State Building Society.

John O’Neill as the MD of the SBNSW destroyed a profitable and functioning Building Society because he could. It was done out of spite and revenge because he lost the 10 year plan to merge the SBS with the SBNSW. In the process he stripped the SBS of its corporate worth and broke all the Corporate and Regulatory rules in doing so. Rules that were put aside by the Administrators charged with the protection of the SBS members and their entitlements. He had help in the NSW Premier Nick Greiner who sanctioned O’Neill’s actions.

The story has many sub-plots and plots within those sub-plots – it is complicated, and to get a full appreciation of these complexities there is much reading to be done.

Please use the comments option below each post for any comments you might want to express – to ask any questions you want clarified – or if you want to make a private comment … please use the e-mail link here – blogcomment@bigpond.com – Enjoy the read …

The EYE-BALL Opinion … [ … where evil lurks – so do friends of the devil … ]

Definitions of Allegations alleged against Mr John O’Neill and his cohorts …

Linked: The Definition of EVIL:

  • morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked: evil deeds; an evil life.
  • harmful; injurious: evil laws.
  • characterized or accompanied by misfortune or suffering; unfortunate; disastrous: to be fallen on evil days.
  • due to actual or imputed bad conduct or character: an evil reputation.
  • marked by anger, irritability, irascibility, etc.: He is known for his evil disposition.

Linked: Moral Bankruptcy:

  • Definition: the state of being devoid of morality and ethics, used esp. for business and political entities
  • Example: A complete lack of morals is moral bankruptcy.

Linked: Definition of RABID:

  • – irrationally extreme in opinion or practice:
  • – furious or raging; violently intense:
  • Synonyms – zealous, fervent, ardent, fanatical, bigoted.

Linked: Definition of FRAUD:

  • – deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage.
  • – a particular instance of such deceit or trickery: mail fraud; election frauds.
  • any deception, trickery, or humbug: That diet book is a fraud and a waste of time.
  • a person who makes deceitful pretenses; sham; poseur.

_______________________________________

Part 3 commences … The 1931 Amalgamation Agreement …

Let’s put some sober perspective to the events thus far – the Document Uploads  are incriminating – and the actions of the NSW Premier and his Minister during 1981 – ’82 warrant closer inspection by Law Authorities.  But in reality what harm did they do at the time?It was a ‘Clampet’s’ conspiracy based on a 50 year feud with the other ‘hillbilly’ that had the Federal Government at their back.

The real harm came later when Premier Greiner took over from Premier Unsworth who succeeded Premier Wran – and that first call was the SBNSW MD – [O’Neill] – coming cap in hand wanting leave to merge the SBS with the SBNSW … as was his perspective in what was supposed to happen after the 1931 Agreement was rescinded.

O’Neill took over from Whitlam and even that process was dictated by ‘political influence’ – the 14 odd candidates in line before O’Neill who as the SBNSW Company Secretary – has opportunity to see all the other candidates resume’s before he submitted his own – even that process was corrupted … but Mr O’Neill who according to his recount of the event – ‘performed well in the interview process’ to leap-frog all the other candidates – as if that would be enough to become the MD of a Bank.

Well – it can be said the SBNSW got what it deserved – an MD with no Banking knowledge or experience – and a political appointee who was no Nick Whitlam.   It is easy to say that O’Neill ran amuck with the thirst for power the position gave him, and as so often happens when people overreach their ability – O’Neill was in trouble within months of the appointment.  He just had no head for understanding Treasury functions and big ticket Banking.   If the SBNSW was a public entity – smart players would have shorted the stock with O’Neill’s appointment …

This walk down memory lane is important to gather an understanding of what was slight of hand oversight by a Premier and other Government agents and what was all overkill.   The 1978 – ’82 formation of the SBS was flawed in so many ways – and should never have been allowed to happen as it did.  Just what part the Minister of Co-Operatives had in facilitating the flawed structure can be seen through the document uploads – had he not been serving as ‘Special Minister assisting the Premier’ … as well as the Co-Operatives Minister – the outcome may have been different.

To expand on what the 1931 Amalgamation Agreement meant to the SBNSW – [Rural Bank and Government Savings Bank of NSW (GSB) – as it was known previously] –  the motives of why the CSB and Federal Government played hard-ball have to be understood – the following is a timeline of these motives –

  1. First off the 1931 Amalgamation Agreement – that was the CSB and the Federal Government wanting to get their hands on the Government Savings Bank [State Bank] – the Introductory Judgement link upload would have explained all that.  How they did it was tricky and in all honesty – no one alive can tell it like it really happened.  From the research undertaken thus far – it was probably more about personalities – Jack Lang being the NSW Premier and bully – and Prime Minister Scullin and the CSB Commissioners wanting to take him down a peg.  But let’s live with the idea that the State Bank got a raw deal out of the 1931 Amalgamation Agreement – and as Political beasts go – Jack Lang was an elephant in the room and a tough nut to handle.

A perusal of the Australian National Archives yields some colourful events in Jack Lang’s career, and it is easy to form the opinion that he was a Union Thug among many other things.   With a booming voice and strong following he didn’t take prisoners – the term ‘Lang’s Gang’ is littered throughout this historical reference library.    For him to have even become NSW Premier was an achievement given his origins.   In the big league of Federal and State politics he would have been easily out-matched – and this proved so in this dispute over the GSB closing its doors.

  1. For nigh on 50 years – [1931 – ’81] – the State Bank sat back and received 50% of all the CSB profits from its NSW operations.  This was a tidy sum – and the table below gives you some idea of the annual contributions from the CSB to the SBNSW … and the grand total up until 1981 was $122 million.
Date: SBNSW Share of Profits (£’s up till 1965. converted to $’s^2) Date: SBNSW Share of Profits (£’s up till 1965. converted to $’s^2) Date: SBNSW Share of Profits (£’s up till 1965. converted to $’s^2)
31-Dec-31 $119,222 30-Jun-48 $885,842 30-Jun-65 $2,062,290
30-Jun-32 30-Jun-49 $837,920 30-Jun-66 $2,567,618
30-Jun-33 30-Jun-50 $872,708 30-Jun-67 $1,720,517
30-Jun-34 $147,870 30-Jun-51 $946,242 30-Jun-68 $1,616,997
30-Jun-35 $313,892 30-Jun-52 $901,718 30-Jun-69 $922,798
30-Jun-36 $457,260 30-Jun-53 $905,070 30-Jun-70 $1,201,595
30-Jun-37 $434,896 30-Jun-54 $1,200,736 30-Jun-71 $2,555,362
30-Jun-38 $393,790 30-Jun-55 $1,104,916 30-Jun-72 $3,219,100
30-Jun-39 $432,908 30-Jun-56 $1,051,934 30-Jun-73 $3,633,870
30-Jun-40 $519,178 30-Jun-57 $788,772 30-Jun-74 $2,058,772
30-Jun-41 $514,722 30-Jun-58 $1,081,592 30-Jun-75 $3,029,531
30-Jun-42 $995,786 30-Jun-59 $1,014,142 30-Jun-76 $7,780,872
30-Jun-43 $392,598 30-Jun-60 $1,121,862 30-Jun-77 $10,124,000
30-Jun-44 $498,782 30-Jun-61 $1,284,216 30-Jun-78 $12,214,000
30-Jun-45 $802,174 30-Jun-62 $554,156 30-Jun-79 $12,966,000
30-Jun-46 $870,908 30-Jun-63 $1,357,836 30-Jun-80 $13,675,000
30-Jun-47 $880,694 30-Jun-64 $2,412,096 30-Jun-81 $14,771,000
Total Sum 1931-1981 = $122,215,760

Just to further put this number into perspective – the CSB’s 50% profit hand-over for the ’82 – ’87 period was $138 million – which made up a large part of the $330 million settlement the CSB paid over to the State Bank coffers under Court ordered compensation.

Savings Banks were becoming more profitable and this was recognised by the SBNSW and Premier Wran – they wanted a shot at the profit pool and the SBS became their ‘pawn’ in the game to get rid of the 1931 AGreement.   The increased profit contribution during the late 70’s as shown above confirms this.

How these numbers actually compares with the State Bank’s Trading Bank operations – [Rural Bank as it was known at the time] – overall performance and profit results is not known.  The State Bank records have been a hard act to track down – first the sale to Colonial Mutual and then to the Commonwealth Bank (CB) – the CB have some records and the research is still awaiting an outcome decision on the Legal documents covering the 1982 – ’87 Court trial, and some of the State Bank records that relate to the Colonial Mutual takeover – if they have them.

On documents – Westpac (WBC) – were just outright assholes and never even wanted to talk about what documents they may have had, or it they would agree to share them.  They came into the equation when St George Building Society took over the SBS, and then became St George Bank before they were taken over by WBC.

I can understand why WBC don’t want to play the game – their takeover of the SBS has legal uncertainty in Law as pointed out through the document discovery and Zombie-Leaks uploads and comments made to those documents.    How anyone could figure how to unwind or determine how to settle something like that is for Lawyers and smarter people – if it can be done at all – and would you want to even try?

The State Bank’s reserves at the beginning of 1988 shows  reserves of $651 million.   These reserves were up from $359 in 1984 and $607 million in 1987.  It would appear that the NSWG got most of the $330 million settlement from the CSB.   This is hard to understand – and what did the NSWG do with these funds?  There is another explanation – the SBNSW made heavy losses on Bank loans in the aftermath of the ’87 crash – perhaps the $330 million was spent covering these loses ans the $44 million increase in reserves in the 1988 accounts represents the unused portion of the $330 million – this scenario would mean the NSWG never received any of the $330 million except for costs to cover its own legal endeavours.   Documents that explain how the $330 million was disbursed have continued to evade the researcher’s efforts.   It is not that important – the CSB paid out and the NSWG got value either directly or as a substitute for bailing out the SBNSW in a time of crisis.

  1. History once again teaches us – the Commonwealth Bank has been involved in many mergers, some of which have brought records pre-dating the establishment of the Commonwealth Bank itself. These mergers include:
  • 1913: State Savings Bank of Tasmania (1902-1913) – incorporating:  Post Office Savings Bank of Tasmania (1882-1902)
  • 1920: Queensland Government Savings Bank(1916-1920) incorporating:
    • Moreton Bay Savings Bank (1856-1865)
    • Ipswich Savings Bank (1861-1866)
    • Toowoomba Savings Bank (1862-1867)
    • Government Savings Bank of Queensland (1865-1916)
  • 1931: State Savings Bank of Western Australia(1926-1931) incorporating:
    • Government Savings Bank of WA (1906-1926) which had previously incorporated Post Office Savings Bank of Western Australia (1863-1908)
  • 1931: Government Savings Bank of NSW(1871-1931) incorporating:
    • Savings Bank of NSW (1832-1914) which had previously incorporated NSW Savings Bank/Campbell’s Bank (1819-1833) and Port Stephens Savings Bank (1830-1832)
  • 1989: ASB Bank Ltd(1987-date) 75% holding expanded to 100% in 2000, incorporating:
    • Auckland Savings Bank/ASB Trust Bank (1847-1987)
    • Westland Bank
    • Sovereign Ltd (1989-date)
    • Retail stockbroking and fixed income operations from Warburg Dillion Read (1997-date) which had previously incorporated S G Warburg & Co and Dillion, Read & Co
  • 1991: State Bank of Victoria/SBV
    • (1842-1991) formerly Savings Bank of Victoria/SSB and Savings Bank of Port Phillip
  • 2000: Colonial Limited, formerly Colonial Mutual(1873-2000) incorporating:
  • Trust Bank (1991-1999) formed out of a merger between Hobart Savings Bank/Savings Bank of Tasmania (1845-1991)
  • Legal and General, Australia (1953-1998)
  • State Bank of New South Wales (1931-1994), formerly the Rural Bank
  • Prudential Corporation – Australia & New Zealand (1925-1998)

When one looks at this list of mergers and amalgamations – the Commonwealth Bank pretty much got whoever they wanted starting with the Savings Banks of Tasmania, Western Australia, and Queensland before they took over NSW in 1931.

The demise of the SBNSW despite all efforts to stay afloat post the ’87 crash, eventually folded like a cheap tent when the $1.8 billion in losses became too much to handle.  They first went to Colonial Mutual and then the CB … a bit like the Canadian Mounties – whose motto is ‘they always get their man’ – took another 70 years to finally swallow up what remained of the SBNSW as a part of Colonial Mutual.

In some regards – one has to wonder what was all this posturing by the NSWG and SBNSW was about in the period 1976 – ’82 – and then through the Court case and appeals process up until Dec ’87.  Given the CSB to SBNSW profit contribution the 1931 Agreement guaranteed – and the ’82 – ’87 contribution under that agreement being $138 million – the hindsight view would have to be that the SBNSW would have been better off continuing to receive the 50% from the CSB … as opposed to pursuing the whole SBS exercise …

The CSB were Bankers – the SBNSW were wannabe Politicians playing at being Bankers – and history proves this.

As all State Bank’s go and before their demise  – they were the most politicised of all Political appointments – there is no doubt John O’Neill was political given his family background.  His knowledge about Banking was his employ at the SBNSW – serving in their Legal Dept under Paul Kearns – and then as Whitlam’s lap-dog from 1981.   Whitlam had Banking credentials – bloody fine ones at that – and he was a ‘blue-blood’ in Labour Party terms.  At this stage O’Neill was a ‘pimple’ – he clutched onto Whitlam’s curtails learning and being the ass-bunny looking for advancement … in the early days O’Neill was a babe in the game – both in Banking experience terms and Political savvy – yet by the time Whitlam’s term expired – O’Neill was in his mind the next in line to succeed.  EGO’s are the cause of all failures – a famous statement made in a ‘Dirty Harry’ movie says – ‘a man has to know his limitations’ … for John O’Neill those limitations have been exposed many times in a career spanning Banking, Sports Administration in ARU and Soccer, NSW Tourism Ambassador, and whatever else – yet his failures in some of these positions have never really been exposed in a mainstream way.

Small men try to puff themselves up to cover their insecurities – Whitlam was always the elephant in the room – O’Neill did his best to measure up – and in his eyes he made good when he received the SBNSW MD appointment.  What he did once he got there is the reason for this expose into why John O’Neill is worthy of the title – ‘Human Evil Exposed’ …

_______________________________________

Part 4 … continues … see link below …

Link to all posted chapters for –

“Human Evil Exposed – John O’Neill (CEO-ARU)” – The SBS Story

________________________________________

The EYE-BALL Opinion … Without Prejudice …

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 24’

January 9, 2012 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 24:
Posted – 9th Jan 2012
Smiling

A man sitting in the bar found that the front of his trousers was all wet. Turning to the man on his right he asked, “Did you pour beer on my trousers?”

“Nope,” came the reply.

Then, turning to the man on his left, he asked, “Did you pour beer on my trousers?”

The man also replied, “Nope.” “Then it must be an inside job,” he murmured.

_______________________________

Smiling

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time. After he explained the basics to his wife, he told her the most important piece of information: Whenever you shoot something, make sure to claim it right away or the first person who gets to your kill can claim it as their own, so be quick if we want to have deer meat in the refrigerator!

So they departed to their deer boxes and waited for some deer. Minutes later he heard his wife’s gun go off. The husband decided to make sure she went to claim her kill instead of giving it away to someone.

When he got to his wife she was arguing with another man who was shouting and aving his hands in the air: Okay! Fine lady this is YOUR deer, but do you mind if I take my saddle off your deer before you take it away?!?!

_______________________________

Smiling

This story is from one of the ” lucky ” passengers on board a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during hurricane “Bob”.

The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same – rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use.

When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled themselves, and the captain’s voice came on the intercom. “Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn’t it?  But we came through it fine, just the way we always do, and I’m happy to report that it looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf of myself and today’s flight crew, I’d like to thank you very much for your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston.”

After a short pause and several clicks – “Jesus Christ – what a bitchin’ ride! Boy – I sure could use a cup of good strong coffee and a blow job right about now.”

As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin (to inform the captain that his intercom was still on), one of the passengers called after her, “Don’t forget the coffee!”

_______________________________

Smiling

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window.

The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.

So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she’s back at the doctor. She says, “Doc, the pill worked great!! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right there on the table!”

The doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.”

“Naah… “, she says, “that’s okay. We aren’t going back to that Restaurant anyway.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A woman got on a bus holding a baby.

The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops & started getting really worked up.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”

“You’re right,” she said.

“I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”

_______________________________

Smiling

One fine day an older couple were at home, and the wife said to her husband, “I got a couple of errands to run, and when I’m done I’m going to stop by pick us up a couple of ice cream sundaes. What would you like on yours?”

The husband replied, “I want some hot fudge, nuts, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. But you better write that down, because knowing your memory you’ll forget for sure.”

“I will not!” replied the wife indignantly. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my memory.”

“Suit yourself,” said the husband, “but I know you won’t get it right.”

So the wife takes off, and after running her errands, she had completely forgotton about the sundaes and came home with a couple of deli sandwiches instead.

When she got home and her husband looked at the sandwiches he exclaimed, “I knew it! I just knew you wouldn’t get it right. I explicitly told you that I didn’t want any mustard or tomatoes on mine!”

_______________________________

Smiling

The principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick.

When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints. Before it got out of hand, he thought of a way to stop it.

One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors. The principle then asked the custodian, who was present, to demontrate.

The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror. From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.

_______________________________

Smiling

Little Bobby walked into his parents’ bedroom while they were making love.

“What’re you doing?” asked the child. ”

Why, ‘er, we’re playing poker, son,” replied his father.

“What’s mama doing?”

“She’s my partner.”

Bobby ambled out of the bedroom, and as he walked down the hall, he heard noises in his sister’s bedroom. He stopped, opened the door and discovered the girl having intercourse with her boyfriend. “What’re you doing?” asked Bobby.

“We’re playing poker,” replied his sister.

“And what about him?” asked the child, pointing to her sister’s pal.

“He’s my partner.”

The youngster left the room and went down the hall to the room of Roger, his teenage brother, who was masturbating furiously.

“What are you doing?” asked the child.

“I’m playing poker,” replied Roger.

“Where’s your partner?”

“Listen,” said the older brother, “when you’ve got a good hand, you don’t need a partner!”

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

 

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 15th Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand alone JokeSocially Unacceptable Humour
  4. Stand Alone Joke – The CIA Admission Test
  5. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  6. Stand Alone Joke – Various – 18
  7. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  8. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  9. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – “The big Dude in the Elevator”

January 9, 2012 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – “The big Dude in the Elevator”
Posted – 9th Jan 2012
Smiling

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy faints.

The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, “What’s wrong with you?”

The small guy says, “Ex-ex-excuse me, but what did you say?” The big dude looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Thank God! I thought you said ‘turn around’.”

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 15th Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand alone JokeSocially Unacceptable Humour
  4. Stand Alone Joke – The CIA Admission Test
  5. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  6. Stand Alone Joke – Various – 18
  7. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  8. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  9. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL Opinion

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 23’

January 9, 2012 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 23:
Posted – 9th Jan 2012
Smiling

A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?”

“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”

“What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the hell kind of dog do you have?”

“Sir,” answered the little man, “it’s a little four week old female puppy.”

“Bull!” roared the biker, “how could your puppy kill my Doberman?”

“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”

_______________________________

Smiling

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven.

At an orientation they are asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning about your death, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say……LOOK, HE’S MOVING!!!”

_______________________________

Smiling

Miss Bea was in her 80’s and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the Spring and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a crystal glass bowl sitting on top of it filled with water.

In the water floated, of all things, a condom.

Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity; surely Miss Bea had flipped! But he certainly couldn’t mention the strange sight in her parlor.

When she returned with tea and cookies they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl and its strange floater, but soon it got the best of him, and he could resist no longer. “Miss Bea,” he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this.” Pointing to the bowl.

“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking down town last fall and I found this little package. It said to put it on your organ and keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I think it is working. I haven’t had a cold all winter!”

_______________________________

Smiling

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman’s face was burned severely.

The doctor told the husband they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny.

The husband then donated some of his skin….however, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter!

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty! She was alone with her husband one day & she wanted to thank him for what he did.

She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!”

He replied, “Oh don’t worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough everytime your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!”

_______________________________

Smiling

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

“On a woman,” the doctor said, “your heart would be just below your left breast.”

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

_______________________________

Smiling

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word ‘penis’ in tiny letters. S

he turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.

The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word ‘penis’ again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day’s word, larger than the previous day’s word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!”

_______________________________

Smiling

Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew. “Wow,” Ed said. “I’ve never seen one like that before.”

“Like what?” Ted said.

“All twisted like a pig’s tail,” Ed said.

“Well, what’s yours like?” Ted said.

“Straight, like normal,” Ed said.

“I thought mine was normal until I saw yours,” Ted said.

Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants. “What did you do that for?” Ted said.

“Shaking off the excess drops,” Ed said. “Like normal.”

“Cripes,” Ted said. “And all these years I’ve been wringing it.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A guy walks into a bar, orders a shot of whiskey, slams it down, slides the empty shot glass all the way down the end of the bar, leaps up on the bar, drops his pants, and announces to the bartender…”I’ll bet you $20 I can piss into that shot glass from here without spilling a drop.”

The bartender is, of course, very skeptical, so he says…”Mister, you’ve got yourself a bet.”

The man asks the bartender to come closer to where he is standing on the bar for a closer look at the action. With the bartender right next to him, the man suddenly turns and unleashes a huge whiz right in the bartenders face! The bartender, stunned at first, begins laughing and hollering, pleased with the fact that he has just won $20.

However, after he stops laughing, he asks the man…”Mister, why would you make such a bet with me if you weren’t sure that you could whiz into the shot glass?”

The man replied…”See that guy over there by the pinball machine? When I first came in, I bet him $200 that I could piss in your face and you’d laugh about it!”

_______________________________

Smiling

There was once a couple named Nancy and Mike Tate, and it was their life’s dream to have a compass company. They finally saved enough money and started the Tate’s Compass Company.

Luck was with them, for the first contract they acquired was to manufacture 750,000 compasses for the Boy Scouts.

Nancy and Mike worked feverishly day and night to meet their deadline, and finished just before the Boy Scout Jamboree was to begin. On the day of the Boy Scout Wilderness hike, each boy scout was given a Tate’s Compass to help them find their way.

Unfortunately, it was discovered a little too late that every single compass was made with the colored point of the needle facing the wrong way, so when one was facing North, the needle pointed to the South.

Needless to say, all of the boy scouts got lost and it was the biggest fiasco known in Boy Scout history. The Tate’s compass company went out of business, but from this experience came the familiar adage, “He who has a Tate’s is lost.” (Say it out loud).

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

 

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 15th Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand alone JokeSocially Unacceptable Humour
  4. Stand Alone Joke – The CIA Admission Test
  5. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  6. Stand Alone Joke – Various – 18
  7. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  8. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  9. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone
%d bloggers like this: