Archive for December 22, 2011

EYE-BALL Guru on – Moody’s Rating Agency confirms its Diminished Reputation –

December 22, 2011 1 comment
Moody’s Rating Agency confirms its Diminished Reputation –
T he Credit Rating Agency Moody’s and confirmed Australia’s AAA credit status.    [Read full ABC story on-line – here.]  The story appears below –

Moody’s affirms Australia’s AAA rating

Updated December 22, 2011 10:12:48

Moody’s credit rating agency has reaffirmed Australia’s AAA sovereign debt rating.

Moody’s says the rating is based on very high economic resiliency, very high Government financial strength and low susceptibility to risk.

The Australian Government has very low gross debt that is easily affordable, compared to most other nations with that rating, it says.

“As one of the world’s most advanced economies, the country has not only a significant natural resource sector – including minerals, hydrocarbons, and agriculture – but also well developed manufacturing and service sectors,” the report said.

“It also demonstrates strong governance indicators. In particular, the framework for fiscal policy is transparent and has, until now, consistently kept government debt at low levels.”

Acting Prime Minister Wayne Swan says it is another resounding endorsement of Australia’s sturdy public finances and strong economic fundamentals.

“Once again, this shows that people like Mr Abbott and Mr Hockey who continually talk Australia’s economy down are wrong,” Mr Swan said.

“Despite the substantial global headwinds that are hitting our economy, Australians have reason to be confident about our economic strengths that are unmatched by just about any other developed economy.

“We have a solidly growing economy, low unemployment, contained inflation, strong public finances and a record pipeline of investment that is gathering pace.”

The report does note that Australia will have to implement policies to deal with its ageing population.

Last month, Fitch Ratings upgraded its assessment of Australia’s sovereign debt to AAA, making it the first time Australia has attained the top rating from all three international agencies.

This is why Credit Rating Agencies rank below brokers, their pimps and whores when it comes to creditability issues. In all seriousness – Australia is a tin-hat economy – take out resources and agriculture we would be third world status. Yet Moody’s thinks we deserve the AAA basis a measure of our Sovereign Debt levels measured to GDP and because we rank well on this scorecard we deserve the AAA rating.

If China decide to buy their resource needs from Brazil in the next few years – who else would buy the Australian resources. African mineral deposits are another competing stream due to come online in the next decade or so.

The World’s best Treasurer – Wayne Swan has adopted a ‘high value’ Australian Dollar policy – it has cost us the tourism, manufacturing and retail industries – it has severely diminished the value of our resources and agriculture revenues and the Australian Treasurer thinks this is a good thing. The AAA rating encourages overseas investors to park their funds here for a time – and this adds to the ‘currency value’ problem. But that does no long-term benefit to Australia’s economy other than allow off-shore investors to take advantage of our high-interest environment to the detriment of Australian mortgage holders.

The irony for the Australian Treasurer to be able to brag about the off-shore future investment commitments – some $500 billion over the next 3-5 years –  in the mining sector – is that it’s all short term political gain that will always end up in the lap of the next Treasurer and the one after that.  What happens when the world shifts and Australia’s terms of trade disappears because the world is buying its resources elsewhere.  All those forward commitments will disappear and then Australia’s credit rating falls like Greece has.

The Credit Agencies – trying to recover from the ‘sub-prime’ crisis – a time when credit rating’s were purchased and the rated asset was worthless or worth less than 10c in the $.   The rules where and how Fund Managers invest their funds have not really been upgraded – they still rely on Credit Rating agency ratings and soverenity.  Who rates the Credit Rating Agencies and their ratings accuracy?

Credit Ratings Agencies are the ‘joke’ of the financial community – that same community is now doing its own due diligence and relying less on credit agencies – it’s about time that the investment world decided to do the same.

Anyone who invests in Australia long-term based on Moody’s confirmation of a AAA rating – is no serious investor.  Investing in Australia at the current high-value of the A$ – also makes no sense given the mean average since the A$ was floated in 1983 is A$0.75c verses the US$.   Australia is purely a parking zone for global investors whilst the ‘risk-trade’ – or ‘cash and carry’ trade pays off.  Once the exit strategy on trade is triggered – the same 45% fall in currency value that happened during early 2009 at the height of the GFC will happen all over again.    That then means capital outflows in the $100’s billions …  will Australia be still AAA rated then?


Guru  The EYE-BALL Guru … [click here to read recent GURU posts]


EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 22’

December 22, 2011 Comments off
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 22:
Posted  22nd Dec ’11

There’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that. Today is the worst of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison …”



A traveling salesman, while in a rural town, decided to check out the local bar, frequented by the Harley Davidson crowd. Upon ordering a drink, he noticed a huge “pickle jar” crammed with crumbled $20 bills.

“What’s with the money jar”, he asked the bartender.

“That’s the entry fee and prize money for an ongoing contest…going on pretty near 2 years. Nobody’s won it so far” replies the bartender.

“What do you have to do in order to win?” asks the salesman.

“3 things. First, do you see the bouncer over there built like Arnold Swarztenegger? You have to knock him out. Secondly, in the back room there’s a hungry, mean pit bull. You have to bring out one of his teeth. Finally, there’s a 85 year-old 300 lb women upstairs that needs some lovin’, if ya know what I mean”, replies the bartender.

As the nite went on, and the liquor flowed, the quite woosy salesman mustered his bravery and, slamming down a $20, yells to all in range….”I’m In!!!!!!!”.

As the crowd grew instantly quiet, he sneaks up on the bouncer, taps him on the shoulder, and as he turned around, he breaks a chair over his head, knocking him out cold. The whole place goes wild and the chanting starts…”GO…GO…GO” they yell encouragement.

He goes into the back room, where almost instantly, you hear barking, screaming, dust flying off the barnwood walls, pictures falling off the wall. It was a most horrific sound emitting from the room, when suddenly….dead quiet! The door opens and out comes the bloodied, and mangled salesman, his clothes in tatters. “OK”, he yells out. “Where’s the old broad with the toothache”.



A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, here comes the bride down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the bannister for dear life. She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk behind the counter looked really concerned.

“Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you’ve been wrestling an alligator! The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak. “Ohhh God! He told me he’d been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!”



A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks the father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.

The father replies….well, you see that 3 pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.

The son then asks his father, well what’s the 6 pack for? The father replies, well that’s for when you’re in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.

Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, well that’s for when you’re married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March . . .



While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, a man was stopped by a guard who pointed at the two sacks the man carried on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” said the man.

“Get them off – we’ll take a look.”

The man did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every day for six weeks, until one day the man with the sand bags didn’t show up. A few days later, the guard happened to meet him downtown.

“Say friend, you sure had us crazy. We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word – but what was it ?”




A rich man and a poor man are sitting in a bar late one night. They’re talking about different things and then the poor man asks the rich man what he got his wife for her birthday.

“I got her a brand new Mercedes Benz and a 24-karat diamond ring”, said the rich man.

The poor man, a bit puzzled by this, says “why in the hell did you get her both?”

The rich man replies, “I got her both because if she doesn’t like the ring, she can take it back in her new car and exchange it.”

After this, the rich man asks the poor man what he got his wife for her birthday. The poor man responds, “I got her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo.”

Obviously confused, the rich man asks why he chose those items. The poor man replied, ” Because if she don’t like the flip-flops, she can go fuck herself.”



The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dip in the nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared ?

He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which laid on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move.

Then one of the ladies said: ‘You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.’

‘Impossible,’ said the embarrassed man, ‘ Do you really know what I think?’

‘Yes,’ the lady replied, ‘I know that you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom in it.’



A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and to the ranger’s horror, eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime.

On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like this:

JUDGE: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?”

MAN: “Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”

JUDGE: “Proceed.”

MAN: “I got lost in the woods. I hadn’t had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle who lighted upon a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened, but figured that since I killed it it I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.”

JUDGE: “The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony.”

15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.

JUDGE: “Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn’t intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.”

The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: “If you don’t mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?”

MAN: “Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl.”



Harley Davidson dies and goes to Heaven, of course. One day, he finds himself talking to God.

God says, “You know Harley, I really liked your bikes. There was only one thing wrong with them, though; the inlet was too close to the exhaust.”

Harley replied, “I know, I couldn’t find any way around that. I noticed you had the same problem when you created women; with the inlet being too close to the exhaust.”

God gets a little angry and responds, “Maybe so, but more people rode my model than yours.”


Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:


SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 15th Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand alone JokeSocially Unacceptable Humour
  4. Stand Alone Joke – The CIA Admission Test
  5. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  6. Stand Alone Joke – Various – 18
  7. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  8. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  9. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke

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Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL Guru on – Central Banks are handing out MONOPOLY Money – and the taxpayers will have to pay it back …

December 22, 2011 4 comments
Central Banks handing out MONOPOLY Money –
and the taxpayers will have to pay it back …
O vernight the European Central Bank handed out €490 billion in cheap loans to Banks in trouble.  [Read full ABC story – here.]

To do the money-flow chart in where the money for these ‘gift’ Loans comes from – and how they end up being repaid – one has to understand the desperate plight Governments and their Leaders and Central Bankers are involved in.

The Government receives revenues from Business’s and Individuals through tax collections.  They also receive revenues from excise taxes, GST, financial transactions tax, and a multitude of other direct and indirect taxes.   The Government has the power to raise or lower tax rates as the economy dictates and to create political policy so as to generate good-will come re-election time.  The revenues you would think would dictate expenditures – any business first looks to revenues before it signs off on expenditure.

Governments are the only business in the World where this works in reverse.  Government infrastructure expenditure creates and generates wealth within an economy and is why Government contracts are a much sort after deal – even to the point of lobbyist and bribes becoming a yardstick through any tender process.   As is the case right now – forward expenditures are being reigned back because current revenues have fallen off a cliff … and to generate Banks lending again – cheap loans are being handed out as ‘Santa’ presents hoping that Banks once again begin to lend to all sectors.

An interesting story out of Spain that has reflective connect with this issue is the National Lottery – a snippet of that story appears below – [read full story – here.]

Spaniards vie for monster $4.7b lotto prize

Updated December 22, 2011 00:03:49

Millions of crisis-hit Spaniards are snatching up tickets for the world’s richest lottery draw, which will shower them with a record 3.6 billion euros ($4.7 billion) in prizes.

Undeterred by a 21.5 per cent jobless rate and the prospect of recession, four out of every five Spaniards are expected to snatch up a ticket to the lottery, known as “El Gordo”, or the “Fat One”.

Long queues snaked through the streets as people took a chance to dream of an escape from the economic crisis, each person buying an average of more than 60 euros’ worth of tickets.

In Madrid’s main artery, the Gran Via, many waited for tickets at a small kiosk.

“I am spending more than last year, 100 euros, and I am sharing the tickets with my friends and family,” said Victoria, a 48-year-old office worker. … continues – here.

This is a measure of how people respond in a financial crisis – they splurge thinking they will be lucky enough to be the one who shares all the spoils – yet the reality in the greater participation is that Governments make more revenue by feeding on that frenzy.

There is no doubt – The WORLD is ‘BANKRUPT’ – and is in that position by any measure of financial well being or health check.

Today it can survive – but when all the forward costings of current policies – i.e. welfare, health, pensions, and the like – are added to existing cash flow liabilities the equation becomes very lopsided.  The known ‘interest cost’s’ of all the GFC bailout packages is the tipping point.  The USA’s US$15+ trillion in debt has an annual interest cost averaging around 3% – that is pretty near the USA GDP number – that is bankrupt and any creditor would pull all liquidity arrangements and ask for the existing debts to be repaid…

As with any bankrupt – the bankrupt goes through a period of denial – the American people are there right now.  All sorts of bridging finance measures are sort – sometimes the credit-card shuffle suffices – but in the USA’s case it is the ‘printing presses’.

When it comes to Central Banks and the large Commercial Banks who are about to fail with the ‘save me’ tag – ‘To Big to Fail’ – different rules apply.   Desperate Central Bankers trying to save a failed system resort to desperate measures.   These cheap Euro loans – who is going to pay them back when the Banks fail.   Bank shareholders will not be responsible – Directors will escape – and the taxpayer will again be made to make sacrifices to pay higher taxes or with reduced entitlements and pensions to allow the loans to be repaid.   In the end – the current measures being undertaken to keep a sinking boat afloat – will fall to all taxpayers to bear the responsibility.

Never has the fate of so many – rested in the hands of so few – famous words for a long ago hero’s speech – within a generation they apply to a bunch of hedonistic Leaders drunk on their own celebrity status and megalomania egos whose collective actions have led us to this place.

It is tunnel vision for Central Banks to try and apply failed past policies – when the belief was that commerce does not happen unless Banks are prepared to lend across all sectors of an economy.   Since the GFC began – Banks have become target lenders and the World has changed – when it comes to how the ‘liquidity’ between Banks behaves, it can be likened to a frightened ally cat where any rumour will send potential ‘suppliers of liquidity’ scurrying in fear.

The global investment focus is currently on Europe and has been for some time.  It was on America immediately after their ‘debt’ downgrade several months ago.  In the insuring period every major money center – London, Tokyo, Honk Kong, New York have all done their best to try and stay under the radar.  They have all be happy for Europe to bare the ‘blow-torch’ of scrutiny and allow them to be the sacrificial lamb.  They believe this will give them time to re-float their economies and come up with a solution at the ready to deflect the scrutiny when it does finally turn their way.   All suckers wanting and believing in 100/1 long-shots.

The reality is that Europe is ‘old money’ and if it goes the way of ‘Sovereign Debt’ default – the other money centers will suffer badly as European investors pull their funds to reinvest in Europe at rock bottom prices.   This will create another ‘credit-crisis’ and Central Banks will again use printing presses to replace the funds repatriated.

That will signal the ‘abandon-ship’ command and from there controlled anarchy is about the best solution that can be hoped for.

‘Money’ is the focus of everybody – those who have it want to preserve it and those who don’t have it take ever increasing risks to earn their time at the pig trough to share what money supposedly yields.

The reality of this global and ‘hedonistic’ obsession connected with money is that it is the ‘debouched party at the base of Mt Sinai’ when Moses went to receive the 10 Commandments.

This ongoing party is about fear and living as if there was no tomorrow – yet some 4+ billion people – half the worlds population – all children and young adults – they all want a new and better tomorrow.

This generation is responsible – yet they act as if the world will go on – of course it will go on – but in terms of living standards it’s all downhill for future generations unless a miracle magic cure can be found.

The Leadership of the World have no idea how to fix this problem – the brains trust behind the path taken to get us all to this point was absent whilst in charge – Clinton and Bush of most recent tenure, vacant Leaders in hindsight with obsessions that distracted a Nation and the World – Blair a lap dog to the US – these are the Leaders most culpable – minnow Nations all followed the lead set-up by these Leaders and in the blink of an eye in history’s time-frame – the World now sits upon a disaster that threatens everybody’s way of life.

The ‘wrath’ of God will not suffice – his wrath isn’t believed anymore – the conscious in what is accepted and expressed as moral behaviour is no longer a reason for Leaders to do the right thing – their own legacy and current history is more important in the immediate context – shipping the problems of this generation downstream to the future generation is the cowards way out – and all Leadership is a part of this historic era of a civilisations demise.

They are cowards hiding behind the legacy of their inherited positions.   They have lost the ability to make a decision based on its pain and suffering – the only area this does no apply to is WAR – and their will to wage war for political gain.  Just around the corner is the new era where WAR will be wagered for financial gain – for purpose of unpaid debts – of lifestyles purchased at the expense of other Nations who will be cheated when loans are not repaid.  Who do you think has been funding the USA’s four decade spending spree …

WWIII is and will be an economic WAR and it has already started – our Leaders are just too gutless to tell it like it is.


Guru  The EYE-BALL Guru … [click here to read recent GURU posts]

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