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EYE-BALL Guru on – Everybody is dancin’ around the Banks …

December 8, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-Opinion-Header-2
Title:
Everybody is dancin’ around the Banks …
– yet the music stopped playing several years ago …
The US ratings agency S&P is claimed to be playing a game with threats to downgrade most of the EuroZone and its Bankers.   A report out overnight by Bloomberg’s Business Week titled – S&P Jumps Into Politics Again With Basis for Cutting EU Outlook was challenged by some economists and political commentators.   Part of the story is published below:

” … The ratings firm put Germany, France and 13 other euro-area nations on review for a downgrade yesterday, saying “continuing disagreements among European policy makers on how to tackle” the region’s debt crisis risk damaging their financial stability. The move came four months after S&P cut the U.S. to AA+, saying “extremely difficult” political discussions over how to reduce America’s more than $1 trillion budget deficit tainted the credit quality of the world’s largest economy.

Bondholders questioned the timing of S&P’s move, with European Union leaders planning to meet Dec. 8-9 in Brussels to end a crisis that led to bailouts of Greece, Ireland and Portugal, and now threatens to engulf Italy. German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy presented a plan earlier in the day to rewrite the EU’s governing treaty to allow tighter economic cooperation.

“S&P should back off,” Anthony Valeri, a market strategist with LPL Financial in San Diego, which oversees $330 billion, said in a telephone interview yesterday. “It complicates the job of the EU leaders to resolve the debt problem…”

continues … [use this link]

The defence of the allegation against the impartiality of S&P comes from the Banks and one would have to ask whether their protest is objective – of because it is feeling the pressures of survival?

Within the Financial Markets cycles – liquidity between Banks is the only thing that keeps the money flowing – the recent interventions by the six largest Central Banks was aimed at improving the tightening liquidity between the European Banks as rumours and scandals were causing ‘watch-lists’ where internal interbank limits were being reviewed and pulled.

This is how the Lehman Bros collapse started and finally succumbed … it would seem that Central Banks have learnt that lesson .

Another report that has greater significance if one looked harder at the between the lines signifance was published by CNN earler this week.   That story was titled – Underperforming hedge funds still raking in the bucks – part of that story is published below …

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Hedge funds have done a poor job living up to their name in 2011, but they still managed to rake in the big bucks.

Rather than protect their investors against the market’s losses, these funds have actually performed worse than the broader equity indexes.

An investor who put money into the S&P 500 (SPX) at the start of the year would have lost just 0.8% as of Nov. 30. That same investor would have lost 7% if the money was in an actively managed hedge fund with highly compensated advisors, according to the Dow Jones/Credit Suisse Core Hedge Fund Index.

Despite the industry’s subpar performance this year, investors continue to add to these funds. Overall a net $8.6 billion flowed into hedge funds by the end of September, according to the Hedge Fund Research Institute.

Why would investors put money into an asset class that charges significantly higher fees (roughly 2% on money managed and 20% on any profits) than all others, which generally charge about 1%? Ask the underfunded pensions.

“Today, boards have this serious pressure to increase their returns,” said Yuliya Oryol, a partner and head of the public pension practice at San Francisco, Calif., law firm Nossaman. And hedge funds, while riskier than other investments, offer the promise of market-beating returns, even if they prove to be elusive.

Boards often think they have no other choice because of those returns, said Oryol.

Take John Paulson’s hedge funds. The Paulson Advantage LP is down 32% from the start of the year through Sept. 30. But for those who invested in this fund in 2007, it generated returns of nearly 100%.

Public pensions are facing huge gaps between what they’ve set aside to pay for employees retirement and what they’ve promised. In 2009, the gap for state and local public pensions was $1.26 trillion, yes trillion, according to the Pew Center of the States.

…continues … [click here to read]

The conclusion from a story like this is that Pension-Funds need a return greater that what is currently on offer by their investmant charter options to fulfill their pension obligations.  That is to further to say that they are taking higher risk profiles in chasing the higher returns needed.   That can and will only end in disaster as the returns turn negative in an extremely volatile marketplace.

Put simply – these funds are playing russian roulette with life savings and the commissions and management fees they take come off the top whether they win or lose …

What a crap-shoot and an easy way to line pockets … pensioners and superannuants are walking in a dream-land thinking their future is secure … someone has to start telling the truth to all and sundry what is happening around the globe with their super and pension entitlements.

Australians have over a A$trillion dollars invested in super with Fund Managers and self-managed super – who is holding the Fund Managers accountable – who is providing real answers to real questions to the employees?

ASIC and the ACCC have many cases on their books where employers have not been paying employee superannuation contributions to their super funds … when they go belly up the employee loses everything … how do ASIC and ACCC plan to protect them when this happens?

Many of the Banks that are in difficulty have Fund Management business’ – the lower interest rates go the 1-2+% management fees extracted begin to look extravagant – i.e. official interest rates at 4.25% and a management fee of 2% or higher hardy renders the clients a return that matches inflation … this is another issue that needs to be addressed and one which will impact on Bank profitability in a significant way.

The extent the continued GFC fallout is reaching out to will only surface as time passes … one thing for sure – the Banks are intent on survival and appeasing their shareholders.  During the 2008-9 meltdown the CBA issues $100’s million worth if shares to Institutional investors – i.e. Fund Managers purchased CBA shares at $25-$28 – and with the current value at $49 or so – they have done very well.

Yet the returns published on the APRA website for the September 2011 Qtr returns states:

“… The combined rate of return for the September quarter was -4.9 per cent. The rate of return for public sector funds was -4.2 per cent, industry funds -4.6 per cent, corporate funds -5.1 per cent and retail funds -5.4 per cent..”.

Let me paint a picture for you from these latest APRA Superannuation numbers contained in this report – [report can be downloaded here]

Of all Superannuation Funds reporting to APRA the beginning period value for Sep 2010 was $815,195 million. [A$815.195 billion]  The total contributions by employers and employees for the year were $83,655 million [A$83.655 billion]  The value of the combined Funds at the end of the period – i.e. Sept 2011 is $828,832 million. [A$828.832 billion].

That means that of the $83 odd billion invested over the year Oct ’10 – Sept ’11 – Fund Managers only managed to grow the value of the Funds by [$828,832 – $815,195] $13,637 million.   They lost the best part of $70 billion yet still took Management and Administration charges of $4.6 billion off the top.

This is where the Financial Industry sucks bigtime … why is the media, ASIC and ACCC not full bore into the Banks and the Managed Funds over this type of outright mis-management.

Be warned – get your funds out of the Managed Fund business and manage it yourself.  Governments should be making and creating Legislation that allows employees to self managed their own super – and what better way than being allowed to invest it in your own family home.

You would pay no fees – you have an asset that you live in – it is long term – it is something that nurtures your family – and will provide you with financial security when it comes time to downsize and retire.  Perhaps with the option to invest super into a family home – generations will be able to live together and help with child minding and create a nurturing and committed family environment – a sure boost to our society and something that would help keep families together for longer.

To see other recent EYE-BALL Guru postsClick on this link:

 ____________________________________________

GuruThe EYE-BALL Guru …

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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 17’

December 8, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 17:
Posted  8th Dec ’11
Smiling

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.

He rushes back to Jerry and yells, “I thought I told you to be quiet!”

Jerry says, “Hey, I tried. I really did.

When those snakes crawled over me, I didn’t make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn’t make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, ‘Should we take them with us or eat them here?’ I couldn’t keep quiet any more!”

_______________________________

Smiling

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.

“Well,” says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up.”

“Oh, no.” the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back.”

The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, “There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn which pulls the skin up, and they disappear.”

“That’s what I want!” exclaims the lady. “Let’s do that.”

Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office. “Well, how’s the procedure holding up?” the doctor asks.

“Terrible!” the lady bellows. “It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made!”

“What’s wrong?” asks the doctor.

“Just look at these bags under my eyes!” she hollers.

“Lady,” the doctor retorts, “those aren’t bags, those are your tits. And if you don’t leave that screw alone, you’re going to have a beard!”

_______________________________

Smiling

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.”

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, “Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”

The young man waited and minute and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair….”

To which his father replied….”Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!”

_______________________________

Smiling

Two mates in a pub, when one says to the other, “Bill, do you find short fat women attractive?”

Bill replies “Hell no, Tom !”

Tom says back to Bill “Y’know Bill, do you find wrinkly old flabby skin attractive?”

Bill replies “Not at all, Tom !”

And Tom says to Bill “Bill, do you find ears with hair coming out of them and big hairy noses attractive?”

Bill replies “Ooh yuck ! That’s disgusting”

Tom replies “Well why the hell are you screwing my wife?”

_______________________________

Smiling

An Aussie tourist arrived in New Zealand, hired a car and set off for the wilderness. On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one leg masturbating furiously at the bar.

“Fer fuck’s sake!” the bloke cried “What the hell’s going on here? I’ve been here one hour and I’ve seen a bloke rooting a sheep, and now some bloke’s flogging himself in the bar!”

“Fair go, mate” the bartender told him “you can’t expect a man with one leg to catch a sheep.”

_______________________________

Smiling

These 2 kids have a dog tied to the front of their go-kart. Just as they’re about to zoom off down the hill, an RSPCA official stops them. What’s going on here?” he asks one of the kids.

“We’re just using the dog to pull our kart” the kid replies.

“Well” the official says “You have the dog tied to your kart and you’re using him to pull you around, and that’s cruelty to animals.”

“Wha’d he say? ” the kid’s mate asks the other kid.

“Sumpin about cruelty to animals”.

On closer inspection, the RSPCA man sees a piece of wire around the dog’s testicles. “This looks like inhumanity” he says to the kid “What’s it used for?”

The other kid looks at his mate and says “What’s he on about now?”

The kid looks back at his mate “Dunno, I think he’s talking about the overtaking gear.”

_______________________________

Smiling

I am an EMT and worked on an ambulance in Trenton for a few years. One of the places that we were frequently called to was a nursing home in town. We were in there so much that we got to know the staff and even some of the patients pretty well….especially John. John was “with it” but just a little too old to live alone and take care of himself. Over time he got to know some of our faces, including mine, and would always say hello when he saw us coming down the hall.

Well, one day, as we’re picking up a patient I saw John walking down the hall with a really depressed look on his face and I asked him, “What’s the matter John?”

John’s response was, “My dick died.”

I said “What?”

His response once again was, “My dick died.”

I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to chat about it so I just said that I was sorry to hear it and kept going. A few days later we were back in the nursing home again for another patient when I see John walking down the hall and I notice that he is “exposed.” I said, “Do you feel a draft John?”

And he just looked puzzled and said, “What?”

I leaned over so as not to embarrass him and said, “John, your penis is hanging out of your pajamas.”

He looked at me and said, “well I told you my dick died right?”

And I said, “yeah.”

His response, “Well today’s the viewing.”

_______________________________

Smiling

Three couples went camping to enjoy the beauty of nature. They backpacked, swam in the streams, cooked dinner over a fire and sang camp songs. At the end of the evening they decided to turn in. Because they only had two tents, they decided that the men would sleep in one tent and the women in the other.

At three in the morning Bob woke up excitedly saying…..”This is incredible!

I just woke up with the biggest, firmest, and most amazing erection I have ever experienced in my entire life! I have got to get into the other tent to have sex with my wife!”

Dan groggily replied to Bob, “Well…..Do you want me to come with you?”

“Hell NO!” replied Bob.

“Why would I want you to do that?”

“Because thats my dick your holding”. said Dan.

_______________________________

Smiling

God looks over the millions of people and says “Welcome to Heaven. I want the women to go with Saint Peter, and the men to form two lines. Make one line of the men that dominated their women on earth, and the other of men who were dominated by their women.”

There’s much movement, but eventually the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated is 100 miles long. The line of men that dominated women has only one man.

God gets angry and says, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all dominated by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!”

He turns to the man and says, “Tell them, my son. How did you manage to be the only one on that line?”

The man says, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 16’

December 8, 2011 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Various – 16:
Posted  8th Dec ’11
Smiling

An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks “What’s your problem, Soldier?”

“Chronic syphilis, Sir”

“What treatment are you getting?”

“Five minutes with the wire brush each day.”

“What’s your ambition?”

“To get back to the front, Sir”

“Good man.” says the Major.

He goes to the next bad. “What’s your problem, Soldier?”

“Chronic piles, Sir”

“What treatment are you getting?”

“Five minutes with the wire brush each day.”

“What’s your ambition?”

“To get back to the front, Sir.”

“Good man.” says the Major.

He goes to the next bed. “What’s your problem, Soldier?”

“Chronic gum disease, Sir.”

“What treatment are you getting?”

“Five minutes with the wire brush each day.”

“What’s your ambition?”

“To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir.”

_______________________________

Smiling

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, “Did God make you, Grandpa?”

“Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, “Did God make me too?”

“Yes, He did,” the older man answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.

At last she spoke up. “You know, Grandpa,” she said, “God’s doing a lot better job lately.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:

Dear Wife (that’s what he called her):  I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband (that’s what she called him):  I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy. You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.

_______________________________

Smiling

Three young women are at a cocktail party.

The conversation turns to their position in life and it’s clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, “My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation,” and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.

The second one says, “Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,” and looks about with considerable pride.

Number three says, “Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don’t have much money and we don’t have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis.”

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, “Girls, I’ve got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it’s not to the French Riviera, it’s to my parents house for two weeks.”

The second one says, “Your honesty has shamed me. It’s not a Mercedes, he bought me a Plymouth.”

“Well,” the third one says, “I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!”

_______________________________

Smiling

This guy went to see his doctor and was diagnosed as having a tapeworm. “They’re not easy to get rid of, but we’ll give it our best shot, “the doctor told him, and instructed him to come in every day for two weeks, and to bring a lemon cookie and a hard-boiled egg.

The guy agreed, and showed up the next morning with the two items. To his horror, the doctor shoved the hard-boiled egg up his asshole, followed it with the crumbled-up cookie, and sent him home. This went on for twelve more days, at which point the doctor’s instructions were to forget the cookie and bring in the egg and a hammer.

On the last day the fellow dropped his pants in considerable apprehension, gritting his teeth as the doctor inserted the egg up his ass and calmly sat back. A few minutes later the tapeworm stuck his head out and said, “Where in the fuck is my lemon cookie?”

_______________________________

Smiling

A patient was waiting in a pre-op room for his vasectomy. A nurse walked in, lifted his robes, and gave him a blow job. The patient exclaimed: “Hey, that was great, but why?”

The nurse responded: “The doctor likes your tubes to be flushed prior to the operation.”

As the patient was being wheeled into the operating room, he noticed other patients masturbating. He asked the attendant why they were doing this. The attendant replied that they, too, were about to have vasectomies. The patient then inquired why he got a blow job, while they had to masturbate.

“Simple,” said the attendant. “They have HMO, while you have Blue Cross.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a confession to make; the reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested. If the guy wishes to call off the wedding, its okay by her.

The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not mind if she is flat chested, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage.

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also wants to make a confession; he said below the waist it is just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the marriage it’s okay with him.

The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does not mind, and she also believed there were far more important things than sex in a marriage.

They were both happy that they were honest with each other. They went onto Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes and she was as flat as a washboard.

Finally the gut took off his clothes. One glance at the guy’s naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor. After she became conscious, the guy asked; “I told you before we got married, why did you still faint” ?

The girl said; “You told me it was just like a baby”

The guy replied; “Yes, 8 pounds and 21 inches”

_______________________________

Smiling

A woman answers the door to a market researcher. “Good morning madam, I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?”

“Oh yes, all the time. It’s very good for cuts, grazes and burns.”

“Do you use it for anything else?”

“Like what?”

“Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex.”

“Oh, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids out.”

_______________________________

Smiling

A cop pulls over a car load of nuns….

Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway-why are you going so slow?”

Sister: “Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65.”

Cop: “Oh sister, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!

Sister: “Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.

At this point the cop looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. Cop: “Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something terrible.”

Sister: “Oh, we just got off of highway 119.”

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone
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