Home > The EYE-BALL JokeZone > EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Weird Local USA Sex Laws’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Weird Local USA Sex Laws’

December 5, 2011
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Weird Local USA Sex Laws’:
Posted 5th Dec ’11
 

Smiling Weird Local USA Sex Laws:

 

  1.  No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
  2. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn’t allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms.
  3. Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they’re nude. Apparently, if you wear socks, you’re safe from the law!)
  4. During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
  5. Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
  6. It’s safe to make love while parked in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.  [Hmmm… okay, there’s one place with a law that makes sense… -psl]
  7. In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
  8. In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.
  9. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
  10. In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
  11. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
  12. The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
  13. Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
  14. A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
  15. An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club”. The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: “The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to male horses.”
  16. In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.
  17. Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
  18. In Los Angeles, California, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated. [Not to be confused with the myth about “rule of thumb”‘s origin -psl]
  19. In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because “The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”
  20. In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
  21. In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
  22.  An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer!
  23. In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job-for men only-called a corset inspector.)
  24. In Oblong, Illinois, it’s punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
  25. In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.
  26. In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it’s illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!
  27. A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
  28. Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but your spouse. Next to that adultery, oral and anal sex, masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to imprisonment. Sex with an animal – unless performed for profit – however is NOT considered sodomy. Polygamy – provided only the missionary position has been applied – is only a misdemeanor.
  29. In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
  30. The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
  31. In Willowdale, Oregon no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
  32. In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night).

 

_______________________________

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

 

 

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons – 
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!!  If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone
  1. December 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    I actually looked up #28. Wow, how many young adults are violating/have violated that law? I can’t believe that they made premarital sex a misdemeanor offense. Very funny ;P

  1. No trackbacks yet.
Comments are closed.
%d bloggers like this: