Archive for December 1, 2011

EYE-BALL’s Snoop-Poop on – The Australian Test Captain – Michael Clarke …

December 1, 2011 20 comments
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The Australian Test Captain – Michael Clarke …
The Australian Summer Cricket season starts today at the ‘Gabba’ – Australia plays New Zealand and Channel 9 commentators introduced the Test series as – ‘a chance for Australia to regain cricket creditability’ within the cricketing world.

As commented previously at this site – Michael Clark is not the leader that will deliver Australia this outcome – [read previous story here].

His 150 against the South Africa in the recent 1st test was a personal innings in a team total of 280 odd. Their next innings was all out for less than 50 after being 9-21 … they lost that test and then won the next to square the series. In that test Clark failed to make double figures – take the 150 out and he scores less than 30 from his next 3 digs …

Throughout his test cricket career he has constantly failed when the blowtorch has been applied. When Australia has needed him to dig in and just remain at the crease he gets himself out – the pressure gets to him – as an example can you recall the number of ‘last-over’ dismissals Clark has been involved with?

His personal life and lifestyle choices should have been enough for Selectors to go a different direction – see above image as an example – he is all ‘pretty boy’ image and sponsorship deals – not Australian hero and an example of ‘grit and determination’.  He is from NSW and says more about Cricket Politics than about cricket ability.

Clark will fail again during this New Zealand series – his recent test and overall form would hardly have him retain NSW State selection let alone the Test captaincy.  Just look at who’s shoes he is attempting to follow – Border – Taylor – Waugh and  Ponting – 25 years of Australian Test supremacy and now we have Clark – he could not lick the boot straps of these past and current -[Ponting] – Australian great cricketers.

Not all were great captains – but they inspired team mates with their grit and determined performances to put a value on their wicket in a time of need.  Clark is a ‘babe in the woods’ when stacked up against these predecessors.   He will fail as did Kim Hughes before Border.   The Selectors who appointed him Captain are now facing their own dismissals – but their legacy remains and the ACB has to go through the motions of grooming a replacement while Clark does his best to prove he is worthy.

Australian Cricket is still in the wilderness during an aftermath period where we took our Warne’s, McGrath’s, Hayden’s, Gilchrist’s and the like for granted … be prepared to be disappointed …


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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘The Chinese Torture Test’

December 1, 2011 Comments off
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘The Chinese Torture Test’:
Posted 1st Dec ’11
Smiling The Chinese Torture Test:

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he’s hopelessly lost. It’s been nearly three weeks since he’s eaten anything besides what he could forage and he’s been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.

One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can’t see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is home. He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground.

The old man squints his eyes and says – “What do you want?”

The man says – “I’ve been lost for the past three weeks and haven’t had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight”

The old Chinese man says – “I’ll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my granddaughter”

The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying – “I promise I won’t cause you any trouble. I’ll be on my way tomorrow morning”

The old Chinese man counters – “Ok, but if I do catch you then I’ll give you the three worst Chinese torture tests ever known to man.”

“Ok, Ok” the man said as he entered the old house.   Besides, he thought to himself, what kind of woman would live out in the wilderness all her life?

Well, that night, when the man came down to eat (after showering), he saw how beautiful the granddaughter was.  She was an absolute pearl, and while he had only been lost three weeks, it had been many, many months without companionship – and he thought the girl had only seen the occasional monk besides her grandfather and well.  As the night progressed they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other throughout the meal.

That night – the man snuck into the girls’ bedroom and they had quite a time, but had kept the noise down to a minimum. The man crept back to his room later that night thinking to himself –  “Any three torture tests would be worth it after that experience.”

Well, the next morning the man awoke to a heavy weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and there was this huge rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign saying – “1st Chinese torture test: 100 lb rock on your chest”.

“What a lame torture test” – the man thought to himself as he got up and walked over to the window.

He opened the shutter and threw the rock out. On the backside of the rock is another sign saying – “2nd worst Chinese torture test: Rock tied to right testicle”.

The man, seeing the rock was too far out the window to be grabbed, jumps out the window after the rock. Outside the window is a third sign saying – “3rd worst Chinese torture test: Left testicle tied to bedpost”.

“Please help me God” – he screamed as he felt the rope tighten …


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SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 29th Nov 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  4. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  5. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  6. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  8. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Religious Humour – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – A Genie Joke –

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EYE-BALL Guru on – It is all just so PREDICTABLE …

December 1, 2011 1 comment
It is all just so PREDICTABLE …
News this morning that the major Central Banks intervened overnight to pump liquidity into the markets – was as predictable and transparent as the protection Rupert Murdoch receives from ‘friends in high places’.

What did it achieve?  The markets sighed relief and decided to go on a buying spree … is that what is needed ?

It was like giving the BANKS another free ‘get out of jail’ card.  Banks are still holding the World to ransom – the ‘we are to big to fail’ catch-cry has long passed its use by date.

The decisions Leaders are faced with are too great – worse than deciding to go to war.  How do they try to save our known way of life when it is obvious to everybody who understands that to do so will only quicken the demise.  This is a crisis that began 40 years ago – it was only seen as a crisis 3 odd years ago – yet the erosion began when the ‘gold standard’ was abolished and printing paper money to manage economies became the order of the day.   It is all now about trying to hold back the collateral damage from the guaranteed dam-burst.

Those closest to the fire – the operatives within the financial markets and the systems they track, the creditable economist’s, and the Bank CEO’s who know their balance sheet meltdown is already passed the point of no return – are all awaiting the ‘knock’ – the outcome is already determined and the wait now is how do Leaders deliver us the message that the World is on a path to an irreversible financial meltdown in which they will all have to pay a price.

News yesterday had Moody’s downgrade the credit rating of 15 of the Worlds largest Banks – this was set to create another round of weakness and would have been a reason the Central Banks triggered their intervention.

Imagine that the Central Banks have their fingers poked into dike holes and are the only thing holding back a flooding dam-burst.  There are more holes appearing and the number of fingers to plug the holes is exhausted – all that is left is the use of new printed and soon to become worthless money to paste over those ever-increasing dam leaks.

When the flood comes … and it will come – to get a clearer picture just cast you mind back to the images from the Japanese Tsunami earlier this year and how man was helpless to prevent what mother nature delivered.  This is the scenario the World is facing and the headless chook’s running around the corridors within the bunkers of Central Banks and Government Leaders are running out of preventive options.

Now think of the other side of the equation – the mindless investor trying to find an avenue to protect the capital value of their wealth.  Where do you put your money to protect it from disappearing and devaluing?

The response to the Central Banks intervention was like a rescue task force appearing on a far off hill line – the people cheered and believed they were saved – next week the news will be that the rescue plan failed as the reality that not all would be saved dawned … panic ensured and it became a Wal-Mart sale mallee for survival.

The joy at the DOW Jones jumping almost 500 points overnight – some 4+% and other major indices doing likewise – is the relief rally and will last through the weekend.  In the light of day all that has happened is that the debt burden imposed on taxpayers grew last night. The rescue plan will fail – economics will prevail – the weight of debt and its interest cost burden carried by Governments has crippled their ability to spend in order to create growth.  For Politicians to sugar coat the future is as criminal an act as the Weapons of Mass destruction lie.

Two million UK public servants – (mainly Teachers) went on strike yesterday to protest the UK austerity measures imposed on them – i.e. raising the retirement age and altering the pension scheme that lessens benefits paid.  The protesters claim those responsible for the GFC crisis and the reasons for the austerity measures have not paid the price for their freed or mistakes – yet the protesters claim they equality of ‘belt tightening’ is not there.

The Media are out there delivering ice-cream and lollies about the rally in equity markets – but those who understand are selling – don’t be the ‘bellhop’ – there is no avoidance to what is coming.

In Australia – Politicians have been awarded a quantum pay increases in lieu of giving up their ‘Overseas Study Tours’ and ‘Gold Card Airline travel’ perks.  You tell me that their hog-snouts are not fully extended into the offal trough where the proceeds of greed and self-serving opportunities are fed into.

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