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EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – III’

November 3, 2011
EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – III:
Posted 4th Nov ’11
SmilingPullin’ Out:

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday.

Johnny’s father said, “Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas.”

Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.

The father said, “Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time.”

Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father asked him why he was leaving.

The boy said, “Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I’ll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!”


SmilingNo Title:

Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around cookies for snack time.

“Here, Little Johnny, have a cookie.”

“I don’t fucking want one,” declared Johnny.

The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny’s mother and scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day. When Little Johnny’s mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind the curtain until snack time came around.

As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him “Here Little Johnny…It’s time for your cookie.”

“I don’t fucking want one,” stated Little Johnny again..

The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother, “See? Did you hear what he said?”

“So don’t fucking give him one,” said Little Johnny’s mother..


SmilingGood for the Goose:

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, “Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and then Daddy got on top of her and -”

The mother held up her hand and said, “Not another word! Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me.”

The father comes home and the wife tells him that she’s leaving him..

“But why?” croaks the husband.

“Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told me.”

“Well,” said little Johnny, “I was playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and Daddy got on top of her and they did just what you did, Mommy, with Uncle Bob.



Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on..

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his father removing a used condom..

“Daddy, what are you doing?” asked little Johnny..

His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tell his son.. “I, um, I’m just checking out the bathroom for mice.” replied his father..

Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and said, “Well, what are you doing? Fucking them?”


SmilingNo Title:

Johnny (aged 8 ) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today.

He says he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married.

His parents think this is cute, and they don’t want to make fun of Johnny so they ask him “How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?”

He replies “Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do OK”

His father says “That’s fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?” Johnny answers “Well, so far, we’ve been lucky . . . ”


Links to More Little Johnny Jokes:


SmilingMost Popular/Most Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

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