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EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – II’

November 3, 2011
EYE-BALL JokeZone – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – II:
Posted 4th Nov ’11
SmilingSwearing Problem:

Little Johnny had a swearing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he swore he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas Johnny’s dad asked Johnny what he wanted.

Johnny said, “I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right f@#kin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then when I go downstairs I want to see a motherf@#kin’ train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed f@#kin’ bike leaning up against the damn garage!”

Christmas morning Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?”

Johnny replied, “I think I got a goddamned dog but I can’t find the son of a bitch.”


SmilingWhat’s What:

Little Johnny comes home from school one arvo and his dad calls him over and gives him a dollar. “Johnny, go down to the hardware store and get me a dollar’s worth of what’s what.” he says.

So off Johnny races, down to the hardware store. “I’ll have a dollar’s worth of what’s what.” he says to the store owner.

The owner, realising he’s on a wild goose chase, tells him you can only get what’s what from the butcher. So Little Johnny races off to the butcher’s shop. This goes on for about an hour when finally he ends up at the local brothel, where he walks in to one of the hookers sunning her pussy.

“My God!” Johnny cries. “What on earth is that?” he yells, pointing at her pussy.

“What’s what ?” she asks him.

“Great” Johnny replies “I’ll have a dollar’s worth, thanks.”


SmilingCross Dressing:

Little johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”

So Johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

– First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse… so unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. – Ok, now take off my skirt…and he takes off her skirt. – Now take off my bra…which he does. – And now, Johnny, please take off my panties, and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says,

Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”


SmilingThe Meaning of Stone:

Johnny, Billy, and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and back yards they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards, where a woman was sunbathing in the nude.

As they looked through the hole, suddenly Billy started to scream and took off running for home. He ran so fast that his 2 friends, trying to catch him were soon left far behind.

The next day, as they came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. again, after just a few minutes, Billy started screaming, and took off like a shot.

On the third day, Johnny and tommy agreed on a plan. They would be between Billy and home if he started to run, and they would find out what the problem was. Just as before, Billy could only look for a few minutes then he started to run for home.

This time, Johnny and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong. “My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone. I started to feel something getting awfully hard …”


SmilingNo Title:

Little Johnny’s mother sent Little Johnny to the store to get a loaf of bread..

Little Johnny is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket..

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, “This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.”

He walks up to Little Johnny and says, “I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?” Little Johnny replies, “A loaf of bread Father.”


Links to More Little Johnny Jokes:


SmilingMost Popular/Most Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – More Little Johnny Jokes -1
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

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