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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Religious Humour – I’

November 2, 2011
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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Religious Humour – I:
Last Updated 2nd Nov ’11
SmilingCatholic School Ethics:

A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room – with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card.

The boy walked in with his report card — unopened — laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her amazement, she saw a bright red “A” under the subject of MATH. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son’s room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.

“Was it the nuns that did it?”, the father asked. The boy only shook his head and said, “No.”

“Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?”

“No.”

“The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?”

“Nope,” said the son. “On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy they nailed to the ‘plus sign,’ I just knew they meant business!”

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SmilingConfessional:

A Priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him to say “two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.” A few minutes later a man enters the confessional.

He says “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Priest: “What did you do?”

Man: “I committed adultery.”

Priest:”How many times?”

Man: “Three times.”

Priest: “Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.” The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says :- “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Rabbi: “What did you do?”

Woman: “I committed adultery.” Rabbi: “How many times?”

Woman: “Once.”

Rabbi: “Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5.

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SmilingTwo Nuns and a Man Following:

These 2 nuns went out the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (S.M.), the other is known as Sister Logical (S.L.)

(S.L.). It is getting dark and we are still far away from the convent.

S.L. : Have you noticed a man that has been following us for the past half hour ?

S.M. : Yes, I wonder what he wants.

S.L. : It’s logical. It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

S.M. : Oh, no ! At this pace he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do ?

S.L. : The only logical thing to do of course. We have to start walking faster.

S.M. : It is not working.

S.L. : Of course it is not working. The man did the only logical thing to do. He also started to walk faster.

S.M. : So, what shall we do ? At this pace, he will reach us in less than 1 minute.

S.L. : The only logical thing we can do is to split. You go that way and I will go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So, the man decided to go after Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not arrived yet. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

S.M. : Sister Logical! Thank God you are here. Tell us what happened?

S.L. : The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he decided to go after me.

S.M. : So, what happened. Please tell us.

S.L.: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.

S.M. : So what happened then?

S.L. : The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.

S.M. : And what else?

S.L. : The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.

S.M. : Oh, no. What did you do then?

S.L. : The only logical thing to do. I took my dress up.

S.M. : Oh, Sister. What did the man do?

S.L. : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

S.M. : Oh, no ! What happened then?

S.L. : Isn’t it logical Sister? A nun with her dress up runs faster than a man with his pants down.

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SmilingMost Popular/Most Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

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