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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Blond Jokes – I’

November 2, 2011
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Some Blond Jokes – I:
Last Updated 2nd Nov ’11
SmilingA Smart Blond Joke:

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse.

She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, “Oh, it’s Sunday night and my car broke down! I don’t know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?

“Well,” drawls the farmer, “you can stay here, but I don’t want you messin’ with my sons Jed and Luke.”

She looks through the screen door and sees two young men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. “Okay,” she says.

After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to think about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, “Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?”

They say, “Huh?”

She says, “The only thing is, I don’t want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers.” She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long.

Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, “Luke?”

Luke says, “Yeah, Jed?”

Jed says, “You remember that blond woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?”

“Yeah,” says Luke, “I remember.”

“Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?” asks Jed.

“Nope,” says Luke, “I reckon not.”

“Me, neither,” says Jed, “Let’s take these things off.”

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SmilingBlonds on a Desert Island:

Three blondes are on a deserted island, when 1 of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a rub and a genie pops out. The genie looks at the 3 and says, “I normally give 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant each of you one wish.”

Well the 1st one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears.

The 2nd one said she too is tired of the island & wishes to go home. POOF!! She too disappears.

The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is.

“Gee,” she says, “I’m awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here …”

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SmilingJob Interview:

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?”

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, “Ehhhh… 22!”

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!”

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, “Mandy!”

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity Ms., we can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”

“Ohh that!” replies the blonde. “That’s just me running through ‘Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you…'”

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SmilingJob Interview:

A blonde was walking down a dark alley one night when a mugger jumped out of a doorway and demanded all her money.

“But I don’t have any money,” she said.

“Don’t lie to me! I know you must have some on you somewhere. Where is it, in your bra?” said the robber as he began frisking her all over.

He paid particular attention to the very full looking and understandably therefore suspect bra. As a matter of fact, he groped her breasts for a prolonged period, finding nothing. Well, no money, anyway.

“I told you I didn’t have any money,” the blonde smiled, “but if you promise to keep that up for another ten minutes, I’ll write you a check for any amount you want.”

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SmilingSome Short One Liners:

  • Why won’t they hire Blondes as pharmacists? They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
  • Did you hear about the 2 Blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theatre? They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.
  • How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde’s eye? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
  • Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign it said “Disneyland left” so they turned around and went home.
  • Why do Blondes like a BMW better than a Mercedes? They can spell BMW.
  • Blondes in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:

Linda: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!

Sylvie: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

  • A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said “Oh, look at the dead bird.”

The Blonde looked skyward and said “Where, where?”

  • Three Blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Blonde said “those are deer tracks.”

The second Blonde said “No, those are elk tracks.”

The third Blonde said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”

The Blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

  • A brunette goes to the doctor & as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, “Doctor it hurts everywhere! My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, & even my head hurts!”

The doctor asks, “Were you ever a Blonde?”

“Yes, I was,” she replies “why do you ask?”

The doctor answers, “because your finger is broken!”

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SmilingMost Popular/Most Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Nov 2011:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet – [over 9 million YouTube hits – must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

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  1. Brian
    November 2, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

    11, 1 to mix the biscuit batter, and 10 to peel the m & m ‘s

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