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Harry’s Growl – Parliament House update – 7th July ’11

July 7, 2011
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Harry’s Growl – Parliament House update – 7th July ’11
Thought of the Day: …

“I find friendship to be like wine, raw when new, ripened with age, the true old man’s milk and restorative cordial.”(Jefferson to Benjamin Rush, August 17, 1811. Ford, Paul Leicester, ed. The Works of Thomas Jefferson, Volume 11. New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1905, p. 213.)

Update – Harry HD:

Hi all my furry friends – yes as you have all probably noticed I have been absent for period – I had to take care of some very personal business. My Editor agreed to the time off – and I have had a very personal problem taken care of. At the time my Editor said the following when I told him what my problem was … :

“… Harry – you go boy – if you want to chop your ‘willy’ down in size – you must have a very good reason. But for gods sake – leave enough so you can find it at night when you need to have a piss … “

His comments were kind considering what I was about to endure and their relevance to the personal decision as to why I was having the procedure.

Yes – sure when I was a young buck and as the word spread about the size of my ‘weapon’ – and in many context’s it can be viewed as a weapon – the rumours attracted a great deal of attention. In my peer group my reputation attained legendary status – in some ways people saw me as a Gentleman Johnny Holmes

However – as the years have rolled by – I’ve come to learn that its stark reality scares women and men alike just as much as they want to ‘crow’ to be able to say they’ve experienced ‘it’. When they see ‘it’ in its raw state and see it grow and become a statuesque symbol – I’ve seen partners tremble at the though of how they would ever climb of bear the physical consequences of having to take this weapon in a sexual manner.

Most freely offered a blow job as a means of escape – but in my younger days – nobody escaped – and very few came back for seconds. They just could not cope with the depth and breath penetration – they would marvel at its enormity – but at the same time it was for many like having to face childbirth except in reverse.

My Editor knew of this phenomenon – and he often chided me about it – he often set up a woman with not so exaggerated boasts – and the women often found out for themselves – more to their pity or pleasure depending how they coped with the experience.

That was all many years ago and these days – the blood drain has become a serious problem. I often faint while on the mound – and that scared the partner – also having a piss these days means I often piss my pants because I don’t squirt like I used to – and that then means a slow leak after I have zipped up. The tube can hold a lot of fluid and that becomes a problem after I’ve taken a piss.

The sex is not that important anymore – even the Viagra pills caused problems – I had to take three just to get fully loaded – and that means I can’t come to work the next day unless I tied it down my leg – that then caused another round of women wanting to get close and try to grab a feel. It all became too much.

Have you ever hear of a PENIS reduction operation. It is very rare – I have to search all over the world for someone who has performed the operation – in the end and after signing all sorts of confidentiality clauses I found a willing surgeon.

That is where I have been the last month or so and the recuperation has taken some time. It’s like discovering a new personality – I am a pound lighter and walk a much more upright walk – I had to buy new underwear and I can now shop for regular condom sizes. I have not tried out the functional procedures yet – but there are plenty of Parliament staffers who will get a shock when the meet the new Harry HD – minus about five inches.


Parliament House Update – Harry HD:

Happy to be back and reporting on the current sitting of Parliament – cushion and all …

T wo days into this weeks sitting of the HOR and the BEEHIVE has been booted twice from the House. The Speaker issues a ‘GENERAL WARNING’ to all House Members in effect today and designed to stop the rubbish that has embraced HOR Members behaviour in recent sittings. The SPeaker is reported to have received over a thousand e-mails telling him his role as Speaker was pathetic and he ort to grow a pair and start to act rather then threaten. Today’s behaviour was a slight improvement during Question Time – but still a far cry as to what should be expected by and from the Members.

‘Reggie’ was also evicted yesterday and again came close today – he loves to push the boundary and is the Speakers least favourite person in the Chamber – the tension between the two can be likened to feuding lovers in a cat fight. For a change that was very noticeable today – the Speaker was equally rough on the Government and its Members and this may have saved him a second booting this week. The evictions are like a ‘Sin-Bin’ and have no real bearing on Parliamentary proceedings. In ‘REGGIE’s’ case as with most of Question Time antics – it is where Members get a chance to get heard and noticed on National TV that they would otherwise never get. Even the ‘WARNING’ of the Member by Seat reference is a marketing exercise and the sooner Members begin to realise that these antics do them more harm then good – the sooner Journo’s might again become really interested in what is happening in the Chamber in real ‘DEBATE’ terms.

‘Botox Lady’ was evicted yesterday for the first time in a long time – if ever … she was no real loss anyway as proceedings meandered under the ‘General Warning’ condition imposed by the Speaker for today’s sitting. Her dress sense today went un-noticed and must have again been in the ‘dull and boring’ category. But in that ‘witch’ race everybody has to be a lap in front of ‘BIG RED’ … ‘Botox Lady’ was seen texting or tweeting from the get-go of yesterdays Question Time session – such contempt goes unnoticed all the time – in today’s session the SPEAKER heard a mobile phone go off and made mention that if he knew who was responsible – they would have been warned – such petty penalties for such contempt for the Chamber and what it represents – clearly produces the opinion that all Parliamentary procedures need a good overhaul.

‘Big Red’ – Duchess Julia – has looked awful in the last few weeks – her bulging eyes and dark circles are reflecting the poll pressure and as images go – she looked like she had been up all night whipping and shagging the Cabinet trying to get them to stay the course. She has been force to sleep with one eye open on account of her popularity and the ‘Assassin’s Lobby’ doing their late night stalking. Reliable sources have her 30-60 sleeps away from going the same way Mr Rudd went just over a year ago.

‘Randy’ Malcolm got to ask his first question in a year or so from the Opposition Front Bench – ‘Buckets’ Tony unleashed him from the ‘dog-house’ to allow him to ask a telecommunications question when the NBN signed a deal with Telstra and Optus over the copper land-line networks and other existing services. ‘Buckets’ would have looked foolish to have anyone else asked the question that needed to be ask – this all indicated and also confirmed by musings we all hear around the drink fountain – the Opposition members are all very tightly corralled. Nobody has any authority to talk without a clearance or permission slip … they’re all walking high wire tightropes and ‘Buckets’ is on the highest wire …

A s for the Government – they can’t wait for the Winter recess – the CARBON TAX has been a snake-pit debate … the delay to release the policy next Sunday indicates they expect more heartache – if it was good news they would have given it a birth during this current session of Parliament – ‘Big Red’ and her policy tweakers believe the damage already done to her creditability in recent weeks on this Carbon Tax issue – needs the Winter recess for her to do the National Walkabout to try and sell it in her language … she still believes she can produce rabbits – Harry HD believes the Party is just allowing her to walk that lonely plank all on her own – this is her final chance to recover her status – if she fails in the opinion polls post September/October – we can expect a new PM in the New Year.


Harry’s SNIFF:

1st ‘sniff’ on the way back came from The Coalition Caucus meeting – scuttlebutt from a reliable Secretary had rumblings about the current ‘NO” to everything strategy and how the ALP have made some mileage over the negativity. The rumblings were withheld and contained in-house – t more important side-show coming from this is that the rumblings might have been a ‘litmus’ test on ‘Randy’ Malcolm’s behalf to test the waters on his numbers. Malcolm has to be restless with ‘Bucket’s’ Tony’s rise in the polls and to make a challenge before the next election – Malcolm needs a firecracker to ignite an incident where he can make his play. Tony ever alert and the professional Politician – is aware of Malcolm’s position and his ambition – all the Journo’s are ready for this showdown when it comes – and it will come.

2nd ‘sniff’ update refers to the deep dark circles under ‘Big Red’s’ eyes – it is not a good look and ‘The Lodge’ wait staff have plenty to say – apparently the red-haired PM has a vile temper as befits her mane … no women likes being unpopular and her poll dump has caused more than a few problems at home and the PMS cycle appears to be 24/7 at the moment. The NBN announcement was released to try and counter some of the Carbon Tax drag but did not cause a blimp in the falling bucket that is ‘Big Red’….

3rd ‘sniff’ concerns is on the tactics of the Opposition – there has been plenty of discussion in the Journo after hours booze sessions as to the Leadership issue between ‘Big Red’ and ‘Kevin 07’ – the Journo’s all think that nobody has a clue in the Opposition camp in how to put the PM under pressure – notes were sent to the Opposition House Business honcho ‘Reggie’ re what might be a good strategy – to date nothing has indicated they took any notice – the suggestion was that every question should be directed to the Foreign Minister and deny ‘Big Red’ any time at the podium – let Kevin have his shot on the back of the Opposition strategy. Some Journo’s thought that giving Kevin that profile might backfire given the electorates still indecisive position on whether they want Kevin back – anyway – watch for this in the next session after the Winter recess …

4th ‘sniff’ is about the SPEAKER – his inbox is filling up every day and he alluded to it during today’s session – the ‘GENERAL WARNING‘ conditions for today’s session indicated how he is feeling the pressure – it has to be said from the Press Box – he is struggling with keeping control of the House and the Members realise this. This was never going to be an easy House to manage given the Minority Government position – and the Opposition has made every post to try and uphold the business of Government. The next sitting after the Winter recess with the changes in the Senate will be the real test for the Government and their Legislation.

5th ‘sniff’ has pressure mounting of the Treasurer to actually do some Treasurer work … the Mining Rent Resource Tax seems to be taking forever to get up – the ‘Cash and Carry Trade’ has him all confused about what he can do – the Government tax revenues continue to diminish and the pressure is on to plug the drain to ke their promise of a Budget surplus by 2013 …

6th ‘sniff’ concerns the Live export trade and the yo-yo responses by the Government. Late tonight the Government announced a resumption of Live Export trade with Indonesia – yet earlier in the day it was reported that Indonesia had frozen Australia out of the next three months of live export licences – it seems that the Minister – Senator Ludwig has pushed the Indonesians too far – why the Foreign Minister has not been involved is the curious question being asked by the Press –


With the Winter recess now under way – this column will only post is significant events occur … Harry will be taking a rest to allow his manhood to re-establish its functionality.

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