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Posts Tagged ‘Little Johnny Jokes’

EYE-BALL JokeZone – “Toothbrushes”

June 11, 2013 Comments off
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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Toothbrushes
Last Updated 11th June ’13
SmilingToothbrushes!!!

(Submitted by Dawn S.)

The kids filed into class Monday morning.  They were all very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.

Little Sally led off.  “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30″ she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”  “Very good”, said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”   “Very good, Debbie”, said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath.  Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk.  “$2,467″, he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog poop!”

Then I would say, “It is dog poop, you wanna buy a toothbrush?”

I used the Juliar Gillard(Oz Prime Minister) method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth.”

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart.


Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Please – if you found this post to your liking and would like to promote it to your social media contacts – i.e. Twitter, Facebook, or other icon linked account below – please click your favoured Icon(s) to promote the story. Thankyou.

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format.You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – The Promised Land

May 8, 2013 Comments off
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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘The Promised Land’
Last Updated 8th May ’13
SmilingThe Promised Land!!!

(Submitted by Colin S.)

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel …

“Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

Whitlam said to the people of Australia …

Put down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land.”

Today, Gillard has ….

Stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, put camels in plain packaging, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the carbon tax, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, and retirement funds, I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English, and I was connected to a call centre in Pakistan .

I told them I was suicidal.

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck …..


Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Please – if you found this post to your liking and would like to promote it to your social media contacts – i.e. Twitter, Facebook, or other icon linked account below – please click your favoured Icon(s) to promote the story. Thankyou.

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:
  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – Nelson at Trafalgar 2013!!!

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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Nelson at Trafalgar 2013′
Last Updated 4th May ’13
SmilingNelson at Trafalgar 2013!!!

(Submitted by Roland A.)

Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.”

Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”

Nelson: “Hold on, this isn’t what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?”

Hardy: “Sorry sir?”

Nelson (reading aloud): ” … England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ – What gobbledygook is this for God’s sake?”

Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting “England” past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”

Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.”

Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”

Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle.”

Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”

Nelson: “Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we’d better get on with it full speed ahead.”

Hardy: “I think you’ll find that there’s a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water.”

Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow’s nest, please.”

Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.”

Nelson: “What?”

Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected.”

Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.”

Hardy: “He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral.”

Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.”

Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled.”

Nelson: “Differently abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card.”

Hardy: “Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”

Nelson: “Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.”

Hardy: “A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won’t let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don’t want anyone breathing in too much salt – haven’t you seen the adverts?”

Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy.”

Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.”

Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!”

Hardy: “It’s not that, sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”

Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?”

Hardy: “Actually, sir, we’re not.”

Nelson: “We’re not?”

Hardy: “No, sir.. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”

Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.”

Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You’ll be up on disciplinary report.”

Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.”

Hardy: “Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it’s the rules. It could save your life”

Nelson: “Don’t tell me – Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?”

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment.”

Nelson: “What about sodomy?”

Hardy: “I believe that is now legal, sir.”

Nelson: “In that case………………. Kiss me, Hardy.”


Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Please – if you found this post to your liking and would like to promote it to your social media contacts – i.e. Twitter, Facebook, or other icon linked account below – please click your favoured Icon(s) to promote the story. Thankyou.

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – Julia at the Pearly Gates – Heaven or Hell!!!

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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Julia at the Bank':
Last Updated 1st May ’13
SmilingJulia at the Pearly Gates – Heaven or Hell!!!

(Submitted by Adian B.)

While on her morning ride on her broomstick, Prime Minister Julia Gillard falls off, has a heart attack and dies because the ‘accident and emergency’ dept at her nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat her in time.

So her soul arrives in Heaven and she is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Welcome to Heaven,’ says Saint Peter, ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’

‘No problem, just let me in; I’m a good Christian; I’m a believer,’ says the PM.

‘I’d like to just let you in, but I have orders from God. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you’ll live for eternity.’

‘But I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,’ replies Gillard.

‘I’m sorry .. But we have our rules,’ Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts her to a lift and she goes down, down, down ….all the way to Hell.

The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a lush golf course.

The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22°C. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it are Gough Whitlam and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped her out over the years — Bob Hawke, Paul Keating, etc., even Kevin Rudd – The whole of the Labor Party leaders were there (and all the socialists from other parts of the world..)

Everyone is laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet her, to hug her (except Rudd who is still recovering from the stab wounds to his back!! ) and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of ‘suckers and peasants.’

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Gillard with a frosty drink, ‘Have a tequila and relax, Julia!’

‘Uh, I can’t drink anymore; I took a pledge,’ says Gillard, dejectedly.

‘This is Hell, ma’am. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!’

Gillard takes the drink and finds herself liking the Devil, who she thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like herself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labor Party pulled at the last election with their master strokes on Education, Immigration, National Broadband Network, Petrol prices, Carbon Tax, Mining Tax, Budget Surpluses, Solar schemes, National Broadband, Health Rebate, and Tough on Crime promises.

They are having such a great  time that, before she realises it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug (except Rudd!) and waves as she steps into the lift and heads upward.

When the lift door reopen, she is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for her. ‘Now it’s time to visit Heaven,’ the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Gillard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other’s company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it’s not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. She doesn’t see anybody she knows and she isn’t even treated like someone special!

‘Whoa,’ she says uncomfortably to herself. ‘Gough Whitlam never prepared me for this!’

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, ‘Well, you’ve spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.’

With the ‘Deal or No Deal’ theme playing softly in the background, Gillard reflects for a minute  … Then answers:

‘Well, I would never have thought I’d say this — I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all — but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.’

So Saint Peter escorts her to the lift and down she goes, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the lift open and she is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate.

She is horrified to see all of her friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Gillard and puts an arm around her shoulder.’ I don’t understand,’ stammers a shocked Gillard, ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila.  We lazed around and had a great time.. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!’

The Devil looks at her, smiles slyly and purrs, ‘Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!


Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Please – if you found this post to your liking and would like to promote it to your social media contacts – i.e. Twitter, Facebook, or other icon linked account below – please click your favoured Icon(s) to promote the story. Thankyou.

SmilingMost Popular/Visited EYE-BALL JokeZone links as at – 2nd Dec 2011:

  1. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Stand Alone Joke – Santa Clause – an Engineer’s Perspective
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Moral Story – Bullshit’s Reward –
  5. Various – More ‘Little Johnny’ Jokes – 1
  6. Stand Alone Joke – PM Gillard and some of her Cartoons –
  7. Stand Alone Joke – A Deserted Island Joke
  8. Stand Alone Joke – One night stand court case –
  9. Stand Alone Joke – Some Blond Jokes – I –
  10. Stand Alone Joke – Anger Management –

If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.

Click here to see the EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

SmilingThe EYE-BALL JokeZone Index is an Australian produced site and presents a collection of Australian and International humour alike. You’ll find the content either in Joke format, a Video or YouTube upload, or in some stunningly beautiful Nature and other Worldly images presented in PPS format. You’ll also find some inter-active stuff if you’re so inclined. Bookmark the site and come back often as content is continuously being added and highlighted with “NEW”. Hope you smile a lot – it is about the only thing that keeps this World together … let humour do it for you and be happy !!! If you want to contribute and send content – please use this E-Mail Address: – be sure to include your ‘handle’ or name for accreditation purposes … all messages will be reviewed for suitability – no Porn, explicit violence or abuse please.
Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Julia at the Bank’…

August 4, 2012 Comments off
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EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Julia at the Bank':
Last Updated 4th Aug ’12
SmilingJulia at the Bank:(Submitted by Warwick M.)

Prime Minister Gillard walks into the Commonwealth Bank of Australia to cash a cheque.  As she approaches the cashier she says “Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me”?

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure Miss. Could you please show me your ID?”

Gillard: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to.  I am Prime Minister Julia Gillard, the Prime Minister of Australia !!!”

Cashier: “Yes  Miss, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc I must insist on seeing ID.”

Gillard: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.    Everybody knows who I am.”

Cashier: “I am sorry Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Gillard: “I am urging you please to cash this cheque.”

Cashier: “Look Prime Minister this is what we can do: One day Adam Scott came into the bank without ID.   To prove he was Adam Scott he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.   With that shot we knew him to be Adam Scott and cashed his cheque.  Another time, Pat Rafter came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup.   With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque…  So, Prime Minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Prime Minister of Australia ?”

GILLARD  stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: “Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind.  I can’t think of a single thing I’m good at.”

Cashier: “Will that be large or small notes, Prime Minister?”

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet - [over 9 million YouTube hits - must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Irish Jokes 2′:

June 11, 2012 Comments off
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Irish Jokes II':
Updated 11th June 2012
Submitted by Bucko …

SmilingAn answer I can understand:

An American tourist asks an Irishman:

“Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which the Irishman replies: “They have to go backwards. If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the boat.”

_______________________________

SmilingPaddy’s in jail.:

Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

“What on earth you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself” Paddy replies.

“It should be around your neck” says the Guard.

“I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t breathe”.

_______________________________

SmilingIrish Farmers Dog:

An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable.

His wife says “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.

“Here boy” he replies.

_______________________________

Smiling>Paddy’s in jail.:

Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

“What on earth you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself” Paddy replies.

“It should be around your neck” says the Guard.

“I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t breathe”.

_______________________________

SmilingPaddy’s Pregnabt Wife.:

Paddy shouts frantically into the phone “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.

“No”, shouts Paddy, “this is her husband!”

_______________________________

Paddy Gets a Letter::

Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.

Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

_______________________________

SmilingPaddy brings Flowers::

Paddy rings his new girlfriend’s door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.

She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says ‘This is for the flowers!’

‘Don’t be silly,’ says Paddy, ‘You must have a vase somewhere!’

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet - [over 9 million YouTube hits - must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone

EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Wives & Husbands Shopping':

April 25, 2012 1 comment
The-EYE-BALL-JokeZone
EYE-BALL JokeZone – ‘Wives & Husbands Shopping':
Last Updated 25th Apr 2012
SmilingWives & Husbands Shopping: – submitted by Warwick M.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris ,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-by.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were..

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15.. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’

One of the clerks passed out.

_______________________________

SmilingBest/most visited Joke’s to date at the EYE-BALL JokeZone’s Blog:

  1. A must see ‘YouTube Video’ – Shark Ballet - [over 9 million YouTube hits - must see the ending]
  2. YouTube Post – ‘Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses’ – as real as it gets …
  3. Various – Little Johnny Jokes
  4. Stand Alone Joke – Little Johnny and Sis’

Back to EYE-BALL JokeZone Index:

Categories: The EYE-BALL JokeZone
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